Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals believe that only substantial amount of money can help people to be happy in their lives. Although money provides people a financial freedom, and luxury in their lives that leads to happiness, there are other ways as well that include having quality time with family or friends, and by doing social service.

In order to have shelter and food for your children money is an important factor. When people are earning handsomely, they buy toys and gifts for their children and relatives that make them happy. There is no stress about unpaid utility bills and rents, this financial freedom ultimately leads to a positive environment in the house. Moreover, people can buy luxury cars and clothes for them that also make them happy. For example, a recent survey in Pakistan concluded that people who are financially stable are less susceptible to anxiety and depression.

On the other hand, there are other ways that offers you inner peace and happiness. Most people believe a person who is able to spend a quality time with their family and peers is more richer than an individual who is earning in millions, but emotionally and physically unavailable for his loved ones. Furthermore, serving mankind also ensures a sense of peace that you cannot buy with money. Therefore, by helping the needy people can profoundly influence the perspective of a person about happiness. For instance, research conducted by a doctor of University of Health Sciences concluded that when you people help others it triggers serotonin release in their body that makes them happy.

In conclusion, although a lot of money offers people happiness by reducing financial stress and by affording expensive things, people who serve humanity and have quality time with their families, and extended relatives are also happy in their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the role of money in achieving happiness and alternative sources of fulfillment. The position is clear throughout. Ideas are generally well-developed, such as the link between financial stability and reduced anxiety, and the biological explanation for the happiness derived from helping others. However, some points could be extended further to reach a higher band; for instance, the discussion on 'luxury cars' is a bit superficial. Overall, the response is relevant and provides sufficient support for the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. Referencing is mostly clear, though the use of 'they' in the second paragraph could be more precisely linked to its antecedent.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for some precision. You use terms like 'financially stable', 'susceptible to anxiety', and 'profoundly influence' effectively. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'more richer' (a grammatical error that also affects lexical precision) and 'earning in millions' (which is slightly unnatural). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but there is room to increase the range of collocations and idiomatic expressions to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are recurring grammatical errors. For example, 'substantial amount of money' should be 'a substantial amount', and 'more richer' is a double comparative error. There are also minor issues with article usage and pluralization, such as 'when you people help others'. Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the punctuation is generally accurate. To improve, focus on eliminating basic errors in comparative structures and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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