Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this century, having financial stability is very crucial for any individual to have a safe future and having a sense of stability provides a feeling of happiness that they can buy or do anything in life.

These are few reasons why people tends to get happy when they earn a lot money or having money is the only happiness they believe. Firstly, this is the period era where many individuals like to collect materialistic things that gives them satisfaction and also they can show off those price tags to others that ultimately makes them happy. Secondly, there are many families living paycheck to paycheck and due to their tight budget they never get anything left for their dream or passion. So those class of community would also be very happy to see a lot money.

I personally believe that there are other important things in life which can give a true long term happiness. To explain that, for some people their relationships with family and friends are much more important and they feel more contended to have that. For example, my one friend is very wealthy but very unfortunate in relationships with his partner that leads to him to sadness and using illicit products as a coping mechanism. Moreover, some believe money is temporary happiness but the real sense of fulfillment comes from within the heart. For instance, for greedy there is no amount of money to make him happy.

To conclude, even though wealth is crucial for livelihood and happiness there are also other things to be considered such as family, friends and sense of satisfaction that gives permanent happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of materialism and the importance of relationships. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why money brings happiness is a bit repetitive, and the point about 'greedy' people is underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples and ensure that the link between your arguments and the prompt is consistently clear. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved to fully explore the complexities of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' to signal transitions between ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'those class of community'. The use of cohesive devices is sufficient but lacks the flexibility required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial stability', 'materialistic', and 'fulfillment'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'illicit products' (which is vague and likely misused here) and 'contended' (where 'content' was intended). The range is sufficient for communication but lacks the precision and sophistication needed for a higher score. Focusing on collocations and ensuring words are used in their correct grammatical form will help improve this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the fluency of the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('people tends to get happy'), article misuse ('a lot money'), and awkward phrasing ('for greedy there is no amount'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the essay. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and subject-verb agreement, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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