Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

While some argue that the underpinning of living a happier life is access to enormous money, I strongly believe that possessing wealth does not give happiness alone. To my way of thinking, physical and mental health, and meaningful family connections are more crucial in life, as those who are sick or alone cannot enjoy their lives despite of having unlimited wealth.

The primary catalyst behind the phenomenon of prioritizing money to pursue happiness is that most of the materialistic things in life can be purchased with money. If people have ample money, they can buy whatever they want, live wherever they wish and travel the world without worrying about spendings. Furthermore, since some philanthropists can donate some of their wealth to the needy, they can help the under-privileged demographics and earn a good reputation in society.

On the contrary, I believe there are other aspects in life such as health and love, which are more valuable than wealth. Firstly, both mental and physical well-being is imperative to enjoy anything else in life. This is because if individuals are not healthy, no amount of money can bring happiness in their lives. Another elixir of living a happy life is true love which we can only get from meaningful connections. Loyal friends and loving family members cannot be purchased in any market, but are achieved through blessings and destinies. If someone lacks such relations, no wealth can substitute the emptiness in their lives. For instance, the owner of renowned 'Kate Spade' committed suicide, as she suffered from depression. This proves that despite of enormous riches people are not always happy.

To sum up, although wealth has the power to buy unmatched comfort in a materialistic world, if people lack good health and meaningful relations, merely money can never make someone truly happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly explain how money contributes to happiness through material acquisition and philanthropy, and you provide a balanced counter-argument focusing on health and relationships. The position is consistent throughout the essay. Ideas are well-developed, particularly the point regarding the limitations of wealth in the face of mental health struggles, supported by a relevant example. To reach a higher band, you could further extend the discussion on how non-material factors specifically foster long-term happiness, perhaps by contrasting them more deeply with the fleeting nature of material satisfaction.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', and 'For instance' to link your points. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing 'despite of having' and 'despite of enormous riches'. Improving the precision of these transitions would enhance the overall flow and make the cohesion feel more natural and sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, including terms like 'underpinning', 'catalyst', 'imperative', and 'elixir'. This shows an ability to use less common lexical items with some awareness of style. There are, however, occasional inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'spendings' (which should be 'spending' or 'expenses') and the repetitive use of 'despite of' instead of 'despite' or 'in spite of'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching the highest band for lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There is good control over punctuation and sentence construction. However, there are persistent minor grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions and word forms, such as 'despite of' (used twice) and 'merely money' (which should be 'money alone'). While the majority of your sentences are error-free and the meaning is always clear, these recurring slips in grammatical accuracy keep the score at a 7.0. Focusing on proofreading for small prepositional errors would help elevate your writing.

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