Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays many individuals argue that the main source of happiness is to having a lot of wealth. However, there are ample of other factors that could also contribute towards happiness. There are many reasons behind these notions and both are discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.

The foremost reason that money makes people more happy is that rich can buy what poor cannot. This means that in this contemporary times most individuals are materialistic and therefore they gain joy when they buy something, for example, car, house or new mobile phone. In addition to this, having vast amount of wealth means having more mental peace. And it is a fact that emotional security can impact peace of mind to a major extent and not having financial backup can contribute to higher stress and less for happiness.

On the contrary, there are also various other different things that could makes a person happy. We all know that spending time with family members can make us all content which even money cannot do. The reason being many individuals lives far away from their near once to earn more wealth but they alway feel home seek and mentally weak instead of having greater income. For instance, many people go abroad to earn more money or to have more financial stability but they lacks sense of belonging and ultimately became vulnerable.

Moreover, a healthy person can be more calm and contented that rich because money cannot but good health or a good physic.

All in all, although today people have kind of ways to make themselves happy though wealth, they cannot buy love offered by their family and a healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to contentment. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'mental peace' and 'financial backup' is a bit superficial and could be extended with more specific examples or deeper reasoning. Similarly, the point about health is mentioned but not fully explored. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of the arguments is more characteristic of a Band 6.0, as some points are under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition to this', 'On the contrary', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow. For example, the phrase 'these notions' in the introduction is a bit vague. The paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the role of money to alternative sources of happiness, which keeps the essay coherent.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'materialistic', 'contemporary', and 'vulnerable'. However, there are also noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'home seek' (homesick), 'near once' (near ones), and 'good physic' (good physique). These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a limitation in the range and precision of the vocabulary used, placing it firmly in the Band 6 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'the rich can buy what poor cannot' (the poor) and 'they lacks sense' (they lack). Additionally, there are errors like 'could makes a person' and 'though wealth' (through wealth). These errors are frequent but rarely impede the reader's understanding of the main points. A wider range of error-free complex structures would be needed for a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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