Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Money has become a basic need of our society these days to access all the facilities ranging from good food to having first class medical treatements. Some people are of the opinion that alots of money bring happiness but I think strong relatinships and some quality time can also ensure happy life.
Firstly, a person without good relationships can not truely enjoy his life. If a person has money but not some true frinds and relatives, on whom he will spend money and share his success. Certainly at the end the person will end up into the loneliness. Secondly, Usaly people with alots of money have business and companies with a signifiant revenes. Due to which, they have to spend most o ftheir time doing work and meetings. Spending quality time with friends and family become a dream for the, sometimes. This result as a depression and anxiety which is not possble to rid off by money only.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 158 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it—the discussion is underdeveloped. The points regarding relationships and work-life balance are introduced but lack sufficient depth, examples, or elaboration to fully satisfy the task requirements. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression using transition words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'. However, the cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'This result as a depression', where the connection to the previous idea is slightly awkward. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that your sentences link together more naturally to guide the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite basic. There are several spelling errors, such as 'treatements', 'alots', 'relatinships', 'truely', 'frinds', 'Usaly', 'signifiant', and 'revenes'. These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'medical treatments' and 'quality time', the range is limited. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on accuracy in spelling and attempt to incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. Examples include 'alots of money bring happiness' (subject-verb agreement), 'end up into the loneliness' (preposition error), and 'not possble to rid off' (incorrect phrasing). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading your work to correct basic subject-verb agreement and prepositional usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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