Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There is no denying the fact that the phenomenon of topic is ubiquitous across the globe, Due to its paramount importance. One school of thought opine that main method to happy in life time is to have a good amount of money. Though the money how people happy in life and also other things can in life can be helpful to happy. Therefore, Both questions and answer are articulated in the trail paragraph with reason for my inclination.
Commencing with the first question is that with the help of money they can enjoy a lot. This is because if masses have good amount of money they can buy anything that they are want to achieve. Like if people have enough money they can buy phones and also go out foreign trip. That are the things people can do if they have good money and then it is help them to happy in life. To cite an example, In USA most of people are happy because they have a lot of money and this money they can buy a laxury items like cars, phone also nowadays this is kind a happy, That stands as an epitome. Thus if people have enough money they can be happy in their life.
Furthermore, family is essential, This is kind of happiness in life. If people have good amount of money but that money they can not buy a life for their family. So family is a another things that people can happy with them. For instance, In India some people do not have enough money but they have their family so they are also happy in their life without money. That stands as a paragon. Resulting, family is also a good things to people happy.
On the close scrutiny, I conclude that, With the lot of money people can be happy and buy the expensive things and go for trips that way they can be happy. Moreover, family is also another things in life that makes people happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors like family. However, the development of these ideas is quite basic and repetitive. The arguments regarding money (buying phones/cars) and family are stated rather than explored in depth. The introduction is confusing and does not clearly outline a position, which makes the overall argument feel underdeveloped. To improve, you should aim to provide more nuanced explanations and specific, well-integrated examples rather than simple lists of items.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical or disjointed. Transitions like 'Commencing with' and 'On the close scrutiny' are used incorrectly or sound unnatural. Referencing is frequently unclear, such as in the phrase 'That are the things people can do', where the antecedent is vague. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the logical progression of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices, making the text feel repetitive and somewhat difficult to follow at times.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There is significant repetition of basic words like 'happy', 'money', and 'things'. Some phrases are misused, such as 'phenomenon of topic' and 'trail paragraph', which indicates a lack of control over word choice. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in collocation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on learning synonyms and collocations related to the topic of happiness and wealth.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede the flow of reading. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'One school of thought opine'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'to happy' instead of 'to be happy'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'Though the money how people happy in life...'). Complex sentence structures are attempted but are almost always faulty. The majority of the sentences contain errors, and punctuation is inconsistent. A focus on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement is necessary before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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