Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people believe that having a lot of money can make people's life happy. People can travel the world and experience expensive activities which make them happy. However, having friends and family members in people's life is also make them happy.
Rich people can spend money to experience expensive activities which make them happy. People can spend money on international travels where they can enjoy unique experiences such as a scuba diving. These experiences give feel of achievements, which release happy hormones. For example, many people travel to Turkey for experiencing hot balloons. These activities keep people happy. This shows that, having a lot of money is important to enjoy unique activities which makes people happy.
However, there are other things which also help to make people happy such as having friends and family members in life. People can spend their time and share their thoughts with their friends and family members. As a result, they feel affection which keep people happy. Sometime people want to share their thoughts which making them uncomfortable. In this case, friends and family members play important roles as they listen and understand others problems. For example, many times people get sad and depressed because they do not have anyone to share their thoughts. Therefore, having friends and family members help to deal with mental stress and keep them happy.
To conclude, people can buy expensive activities with the help of a lof of money which make them happy. However, having friends and family members in life are equally important for happiness as people can share their thoughts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the discussion on 'happy hormones' and 'unique experiences' is a good start, but it could be expanded with more nuanced examples or a deeper analysis of why these factors are significant. The position is clear throughout, but the overall argument would benefit from more sophisticated reasoning to move beyond a basic level of explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'For example', and 'As a result', which help the reader follow the argument. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive (e.g., the frequent use of 'people' and 'friends and family members'). Paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the role of money to the importance of social connections. To improve, you could vary your linking words and use more sophisticated referencing to avoid repetition.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'unique experiences' and 'mental stress'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is noticeable repetition of basic words like 'happy', 'money', and 'people'. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'give feel of achievements' instead of 'provide a sense of achievement'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise synonyms and idiomatic expressions would help elevate the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'is also make them happy', 'which making them uncomfortable') and article usage. These errors do not impede communication, but they are persistent. To reach a higher band, you should focus on ensuring subject-verb consistency and refining the use of relative clauses and verb forms. The punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence variety could be improved to demonstrate better control over complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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