Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

it is irrefutable to deny that money can buy you happiness Hence few people believe that you can feel joy if you have a good amount of money. Having a generous amount of wealth can make you cheerful but there are other vital things that can contribute to it. In this essay I will discuss both how money can buy you juveniles and also what are the other things alongside with it.

The major reason that owing a generous wealth makes you feel happy is that it can give you the financial freedom and a sense of security. if you have enough money you can buy a home in which you can live with your family. Moreover, this will not only allow you to spend time with your close one but also contribute in giving you a stress free life. For instance, the upper class are living a life where they are owning their own home whereas the middle class are taking loan from the financial institutions and are burdened by the stress of paying them off.

It is undeniable that money is important, but there are other Vital things like having a good understanding family and reliable friends. You can enjoy every day activities like going to shopping or having a meals together with your close ones. The joy you get from being with them is far more than having considerate amount of wealth. For example, rich people have lot of money but they are so busy running for money that they miss the joy of enjoying the time with their family or friend.

To sum up, sufficient amount of money is required to be happy. however there are other things that are vital for a good and juvenile life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and follow a logical structure. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how money provides security could be more nuanced. The position is clear throughout the essay. To improve, ensure that examples are more specific and fully explored to demonstrate a deeper level of critical thinking. The conclusion is brief but effectively summarizes the main points. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'To sum up' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. There is a logical progression from the role of money to the importance of social connections. However, referencing is occasionally repetitive, and some sentences lack smooth flow due to punctuation errors. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence connects naturally to the previous one will help elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'irrefutable', 'financial freedom', and 'undeniable'. However, there are instances of word-choice errors that affect precision, such as using 'juveniles' to mean 'joyful' or 'fulfilling', which is a significant misuse. Additionally, phrases like 'going to shopping' are grammatically incorrect. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations accurately and expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary. Avoid using words if you are not entirely certain of their meaning, as this can confuse the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing capitalization at the start of sentences, incorrect verb forms ('are owning'), and article misuse ('the upper class are living'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation. Practicing the use of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, will help you demonstrate better control over your grammatical range.

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