Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Those people who believe that having a lot of money is they key to happiness are pointing out the practicality. Having a lot of money makes education and healthcare easily accessible with highest quality possible. Furthermore, with a lot of money, people are not compelled to stick to an undesirable job and when people can switch jobs as they like, it give happiness. Additionally, if going to vacations makes people happy, then having sufficient resources makes it possible without having to worry about being absent at a job.

While money makes it possible to buy comfort and fulfill our desires which makes a person happy, one's happiness should not be attributed to money alone. Without a peaceful relationship in the family, without a good circle of friends and people to love us, the comfort and wealth may be meaningless. Having a healthy relationship with our friends and families, and having a meaningful purpose in life could make a person happy. For instance, monks does not really have the comfort that money can buy and they spend their lives in monasteries with no desire for wealth or materialistic things. Yet, they remain happy for most part of their lives although there might be come circumstances when they are not.

A person can be happy by achieving his or her goals with the help of money. Wealth and comfort makes people happy which can be possible by having a lot of money. Nevertheless, there are other meaningful ways to he happy, for instance, having loving and caring family and friends. Having a meaningful goal in life gives us the purpose to live and achieving it even without having money would make a person happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the third paragraph, which restates points already made in the second. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be more deeply extended with more specific, nuanced examples rather than general statements. The position is clear throughout, and the response maintains a consistent focus on the topic, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, though it leans towards 6.5 due to the lack of depth in the final paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into three distinct paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas, moving from the benefits of money to alternative sources of happiness. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' and 'Nevertheless' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels slightly abrupt, and the third paragraph acts more as a summary than a new development of ideas. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure is easy to follow, justifying a solid score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. The student uses some effective collocations like 'easily accessible,' 'undesirable job,' and 'meaningful purpose.' There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'they key' (a typo for 'the key') and 'come circumstances' (a typo for 'some circumstances'). While the range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions that would characterize a higher band. The vocabulary is functional and precise enough for the reader to follow the argument without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('monks does not really have') and minor phrasing errors ('it give happiness' instead of 'it gives happiness'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The student attempts complex structures, but the control is inconsistent. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic agreement errors and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater precision. The current level reflects a competent but imperfect grasp of English grammar.

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