Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this rapidly changing world, It is undoubtedly true that there are individuals thought that if they have a lot of cash the life is happy and money can not buy happiness if are not healthy and have problems with family or friend there are many things that make people happy some might be happy with when they spend time with family and closed once or freedom of life. This essay will further elaborates my reasons as same in my upcoming paragraphs. which will lead to a logical conclusion.
To commence with, there are adequate evidence of this view, which is sustainable. The top notch concrete reason is having enough founds can not give happiness to anybody. However, sometime masses buy their favouriates things with money which give them smile on their faces like buying a dream car and gaming things all these stuff human can buy when they have founds to spend. But, the thing is If someone is not healthy and have issues health related then having money can not give them joy in life. they spend their time thinking to how they can rid from life if they struggling to heal.
Moreover, the other reason is that all wealthy people are very busy and they do not have time for themself and for family or friends they just chasing money for their kids or better future while they also not eat proper food sometime so how they can be happy. In addition, human spend time with their loved once and found that living together and planning tips to mauntains give them more happiness then having money.
To conclude, I reitrate that there are plenty of other factors that supporting playing and spending time with family give more joy than having lots of money and being a healthy is automatically is a happiness for human these days . However contrary can not be overload eihter.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the mention of 'buying a dream car' is a relevant point, but it is not fully extended or explored in depth. The position is clear, but the argument lacks a sophisticated structure. The introduction is slightly confusing, and the conclusion is a bit repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed examples and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'The top notch concrete reason' feel forced and do not always connect ideas logically. Additionally, there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the run-on sentences in the introduction and the second paragraph. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these structural weaknesses, making the flow feel disjointed at times.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors, such as 'founds' instead of 'funds', 'favouriates' instead of 'favourites', and 'mauntains' instead of 'mountains'. The use of 'masses' and 'top notch' is slightly informal or inappropriate for an essay context. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the frequent spelling mistakes prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('there are individuals thought'), missing articles, and incorrect punctuation, particularly with run-on sentences. For instance, 'if are not healthy and have problems with family or friend there are many things' lacks a clear subject and proper clause structure. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar significantly impacts the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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