Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been increasingly debate on many people that money is very important in life. They believe that it is a way to feel happy. However, having a lot of money in life people can do anything without thinking. But, there is also many more things that makes people happy like spending time with their known people. My inclination is well-elaborated in ensuing write-up.

Nowadays, many people are busy in their life to make a great future because they want to live wealthy lifestyle. They prefer money is important in life to achieve anything. Sometimes many individuals do overtime to earning more money. As a result, they can explore another country or buy luxuries product. Furthermore, many times people want to their wealthy lifestyle to the other people. They are influenced by famous people, youtubers or influencers. This people posting pictures on social media so their followers influenced by this things. Sometimes people can do anything to earning money.

On the other hand, money is not everything, there are also many other things that makes people happy. Likewise, spending a time with family members or playing with your children. This gives you relaxation and reduce your stress too. Not only this but doing other things also feel more relax. Many people helping to the needy people who don't have jobs and not have opportunity to earning money. Moreover, after a study or term completion many students celebrating, doing parties or spending time with their friends.

To recapitulate, nonetheless money is important in person life to achieve anything or also buying a expensive item but it's not everything. Spending time with parents, or doing study, playing indoor or outdoor games also make people happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors lead to happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money influences people through social media is a bit repetitive and lacks depth. The ideas regarding non-monetary happiness, such as spending time with family or helping the needy, are relevant but could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to fully meet the requirements of a higher band. The position is clear, but the overall argument lacks the sophistication required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'To recapitulate'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'My inclination is well-elaborated in ensuing write-up'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, for example, 'This people posting pictures' and 'This gives you relaxation'. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the flow between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'It has been increasingly debate on many people', 'luxuries product', and 'after a study or term completion'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the presence of errors in word formation and usage limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('there is also many more things', 'This people posting'), incorrect verb forms ('to earning more money', 'many people helping to the needy'), and missing articles or prepositions. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in both simple and complex structures. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.