Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Few individuals think that to be happy in life is best way that having chunk of money. In this essay I will discuss about what is the main causes behind that though and also give appropriate example by my on life experience.
To commence with, In the modern era money can make people life easy help them to life a happily lifestyle. To elaborate it, in 21st century most of then thing are depends on money. Day to day life money becoming more important in very life by people need money to get electricity which one is the most significant thing life. Then need money for family in every emergency. For example, World most popular football player Arnaldo in his young age he did lot of struggle to be a best plyer. he used to cleaning job to get some money so he can get equipment for playing football. but now he become a most popular player. as being a popular player he got a lot of money and now he living he lavish lifestyle with his family. As a result money also give people that things he really needs.
shifting towards, apart from having lot of money in life there are some other thigs that are also important in life like having a lovely family and respect in society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it—the discussion is underdeveloped. The second part of the prompt regarding 'other things' is introduced only in the final sentence, leaving it completely unexplored. The example of the footballer is relevant but lacks sufficient depth to fully support the argument. To improve, you must expand your points with more detailed explanations and ensure all parts of the prompt receive balanced attention.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with' and 'shifting towards', but these are sometimes used awkwardly. The paragraphing is insufficient; the essay consists of an introduction and one body paragraph, with the final point tacked on as a single sentence. This lack of structure makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea, and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. Phrases like 'chunk of money', 'happily lifestyle', and 'very life' indicate a lack of precision and control over collocations. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'Arnaldo' (presumably Ronaldo) and 'plyer'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to discuss the topic with any sophistication. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating basic words like 'money' and 'important'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('most of then thing are depends'), article usage ('the most significant thing life'), and sentence structure ('Few individuals think that to be happy in life is best way that having chunk of money'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the existing sentences are often fragmented or incorrectly punctuated. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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