Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Having a money is blessing for smooth surviving in society. In this regard, it is considered by some individuals that being rich is the major way of enjoying delightful life. Although money play crucial role for living good standard life, other factors like wellbeing and positive relationships are important as well.

The prominent reason how money makes person happy is accomplishment of desires or needs. Everyone knows that nothing can be buy without money from tiny bite of food to spending luxuries life, everything depends on money. it is need of hour for people to have money. If person has cash, he/she can purchase everything that make them happy. Another thing is that can join a fun activity, get better health facilities, Education. without money, these things are dream because hospitals, academics and extra curriculum activities remand a lot of wages. Even the countries do not progress without money. So, money is the primary reason for happiness.

Despite of money, Health play a major role in happy life. If person has money but has hazard that is not curable, money is totally worthless for that person. Another thing is supportive relationship is also important like if someone has 3rd stage of cancer and doctor say nothing can do, in these situations, people need emotional support and someone who care without any benefit or greediness.

In conclusion. Although money can buy everything for better lifestyle but sometime cannot but true relationship and health. So, all factors are important for happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to purchase necessities and the importance of health and relationships. However, the development is somewhat limited. The arguments regarding money are repetitive, and the discussion on non-monetary factors lacks depth and specific examples. While the position is clear, the supporting points could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band. The essay meets the minimum length requirement, but the overall development remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic progression of ideas from the role of money to the importance of health and relationships. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Despite of money' (which should be 'Apart from money' or 'In addition to money') and 'In conclusion.' The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and precision to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'smooth surviving,' 'nothing can be buy,' and 'remand a lot of wages' (likely meaning 'demand'). While the meaning is generally clear, the student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. To improve, the student should focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('money play crucial role'), article usage ('Having a money'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage. While the student attempts complex structures, they are often faulty. A greater focus on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve the clarity and quality of the writing.

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