Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this world money plays a big role if you are rich everyone is going to respect you but Some people says money is the only way a person can be happy in his life but I think it is true but still there are other ways also by which person can be happy in his life.

In this essay, we will talk about this topic.

Money is important in life that’s why some people believe that having a lot of money will make them happy and have a good life which they will enjoy. For example, if a person went for a shopping and he liked something which is expensive but he will just buy it without thinking that much about money because that thing will make him happy. In a Similar way if a person who is rich will go on foreign trips with family whenever he wants because that would make him happy.

But still there are so many other ways also to be happy in life. You will see people doing lot of charity work for the society just because that thing makes them happy in life. I have seen so many people in India who are not that rich but still they keep on working for the society that makes them feel good.

For instance, there was a person name Rohan Sehgal who is very famous in India just because of his work for the society. He used to provide free meals to people from any religion or caste without thinking. He is still doing that thing for almost 29 years.

To conclude, money definately makes a person happy but still there are people who finds happiness in giving back to the society without thinking about whether he has money or not that thing makes them happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and alternative sources of happiness. However, the development is somewhat superficial. The explanation of why money brings happiness relies on simple examples like shopping and travel, which are not fully explored. Similarly, the section on charity is relevant but lacks a deeper analysis of why this provides fulfillment beyond just stating that it makes people feel good. The position is clear, but the ideas could be extended with more sophisticated reasoning to reach a higher band. The introduction is also quite brief and lacks a clear thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic attempt at progression, moving from the role of money to alternative sources of happiness. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In a Similar way', 'For instance', 'To conclude'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the shift from general statements to the specific example of Rohan Sehgal. Improved use of linking words and better paragraph transitions would enhance the flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'big role', 'good life', and 'make them happy' are used frequently, which limits the range. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'charity work' and 'society', but the overall lexical range is narrow. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to express your ideas with greater nuance. Spelling is generally accurate, but the lack of variety in word choice prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Some people says'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'if a person went for a shopping'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a focus on mastering sentence construction.

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