Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The community of people believes that money can buy them happiness in their lives, because they can have anything in their lives. There are numerous ways by which money can make people's life cheerful, which I will discuss in this essay in the upcoming paragraphs.
First of all, the people who have too much money they can buy all the comforts for their daily life. Hence, they can live a luxurious life according to the way how they want to spend their life. For example, the people who have enough money they can buy their favourite car, which will give them happiness and they can transport in their own vehicle. Moreover, they can hire a chef, who can cook for them, by which rich people do not need to enter in the kitchen for their food. To eleborate, such people, do not need to go outside in the restaurants for their food cravings, they can easily ask chef to cook for them.
On the other hand, money can make people financially strong, but if people have family and friends in thier lives they will more strong and happy by mentally as well. To examplify, the folks who have good family or friends support, they can share their happiness, sorrows and their personal ups and downs. Moreover, people can go on vacations, which makes their life more enjoyable and it can add more happiness in their lives by wondering the nature. For example, I was so stressed becuase of my work life, then I planned to go to Jasper for the vacation with my friends, which give me a relief from work and I started my work again with full energy.
In short, no doubt money can bring happiness easily in the life of people, but there are so many other things, which people need in their daily life to be happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant, such as the convenience of hiring a chef or the emotional support of family. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money provides comfort is repetitive, and the transition to other factors is a bit abrupt. To reach a higher band, you should aim to explore the 'why' behind these points more deeply rather than just listing examples. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument remains at a functional level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'they can live a luxurious life according to the way how they want to spend their life', which is a bit wordy and repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and more sophisticated referencing techniques.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'too much money', 'cheerful', and 'good'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'transport in their own vehicle' (instead of 'travel in') and 'wondering the nature' (likely meant 'wandering in nature'). While your meaning is always clear, the range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic or topic-specific vocabulary to express your ideas with greater nuance and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'the people who have too much money they can buy' (redundant subject), 'they will more strong and happy by mentally' (incorrect word order and preposition use), and 'give me a relief' (article error). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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