Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In contemporary society people believe that to be happy one needs to have a lot of money. In contrast, another group believe it is not the money that always make you happy. In this essay I will talk about is money really important to be happy or not.
It is true that if you have money everyone respects you, wants to be you, listens you, admires your way of talking and life style. One can spend how much he wants or buys whatever and whenever he wants. Furthermore, if one has money he can get education in good institute, treats himself in reputable hospital, go on vacations, eats food in expensive restaurants, buys costly bags, shoes, clothes, watches, perfumes and so one. All these things make a considerable number of people happy that is why people sometimes started to think it is only money that make them happy and worship it.
On the other hand a lot of things are there that money cannot buy like peace of mind, a good health, family, a true and faithful friend, knowledge, manners, respect, a laugh and the list goes on. These are also important things for majority of people. These things also give happiness and mental peace and can also make people happy and you do not need money for these.
In my opinion, nowadays everything has price tag people judge you by your bank balance, the phone in your hand and the brand you are wearing. But the real happiness is something that you can not buy with money. It comes from the inside or some small gesture you did for someone else whom you do not even know. Thus being happy is other thing and buying happiness is another.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the list of items money can buy (bags, shoes, perfumes) is a bit repetitive and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' behind these points—for example, explaining the psychological impact of financial security rather than just listing consumer goods. The position is clear throughout, but the conclusion could be more robust to better synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic progression of ideas from the role of money to non-monetary sources of happiness. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Transitions like 'Furthermore' and 'On the other hand' are used correctly, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs can be choppy. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'All these things' in the second paragraph, which refers back to a long list of items. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions would enhance the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society,' 'reputable hospital,' and 'faithful friend.' However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'listens you' (should be 'listens to you') and 'treats himself in reputable hospital' (should be 'receives treatment at a reputable hospital'). The repetition of 'make them happy' and 'things' limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more naturally and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a good health' should be 'good health'), prepositions ('listens you'), and subject-verb agreement ('money... make you happy' should be 'makes you happy'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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