Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern times, the debate on the idea that financial gains are the only source of happiness in one’s life has been incredibly increased. Without a doubt financial stability is essential for a person’s peace of mind, I believe that other elements play a crucial role in determining the happiness of a person. In this essay I will discuss this in detail with personal experiences and examples.

Money is the most crucial factor in our lives. It gives us the freedom to buy anything we desire for ourselves or our family. A nice house, a luxurious car or any other material. It is important as well we can’t deny that completely. For instance, we need money for any healthcare expense incurred for ourselves and family members.

On the other hand, mere income status doesn’t define happiness or quality of life. I personally believe that a sound body having no disease physically or mental is the most important blessing. For example, one could have loads of finances but he can’t eat his favourite food due to a chronic illness. Another person might have money as well but can’t go to a foreign tour with family due to his ill health. Similarly, a supporting and loving wife, obedient children and healthy parents are far more important blessings than possession of tons of money.

From my perspective, the importance of money can’t be overlooked yet there are other spiritual and non materialistic aspects which determines the happiness of a human being.

In conclusion, it is established that money is essential for spending a seamless lifestyle. However, other factors also play important role in our lives and give us a contented and happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention healthcare and material possessions, the explanation remains at a general level. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific detail or deeper analysis. For instance, instead of just mentioning 'healthcare expenses,' you could explain how financial security reduces the stress associated with life-altering medical emergencies, thereby directly linking it to psychological well-being. The conclusion is a bit brief but effectively summarizes your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For instance,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Similarly' to guide the reader. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this,' 'these') is used more precisely to connect ideas across sentences. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial stability,' 'materialistic,' and 'contented.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'incredibly increased' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'sound body having no disease physically or mental' (which should be 'physical or mental disease'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is occasionally lacking. To improve, focus on collocations—for example, instead of 'loads of finances,' use 'significant financial resources' or 'substantial wealth.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the debate on the idea that... has been incredibly increased' (passive voice usage is awkward here) and 'a sound body having no disease... is the most important blessing' (which lacks proper article usage and structure). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences or comma splices. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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