Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that, few people think that only money makes people life's happy, but some believe that other thing makes life joyful. However, I think the both points is right and the ideas will be discussed in forthcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, there are several reasons of this phenomenon. The first and the foremost reason is that, everyone in their life want to become a rich person and fulfill their all needs, ambition and live good as well as luxurious life. Moreover, if people have to a lot of money then they cannot see tough time in their life because half of the population being poor and face the poverty and live on street that is why people believe that only money gives happy life to everyone.
Nevertheless, there are few person think only money not gives joyful life. Firstly, if have to a lot of money then they can become highly attitudes person and not respect to other middle class people and with the help of money, they can fulfill our bad ambition. Secondly, with money people stay away from poor and middle class relatives, friends and one by one they can lose their all relation and live alone in their life. Apart from this, money is not work as support of relatives, neighbors in their bad time of life as well as money cannot stay all whole life for the person.
To conclusions, although there are both points of reasons of this trend, due to aforementioned paragraphs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that money helps fulfill ambitions and avoid poverty, the explanation is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. Similarly, the discussion on non-monetary factors focuses heavily on the negative personality changes money might cause, rather than exploring positive alternatives like relationships or personal growth in detail. The conclusion is also incomplete, failing to summarize the main points effectively. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a clear, well-developed argument with specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as in the final sentence, which is a fragment and does not function as a proper conclusion. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the benefits of money and the fear of poverty is abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences would significantly enhance the clarity of your arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'good as well as luxurious life' and 'bad ambition'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'highly attitudes person' instead of 'arrogant' or 'conceited', and 'money is not work as support'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context, such as using 'materialistic' instead of 'highly attitudes'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the both points is right'), article usage ('the poverty'), and incorrect sentence construction ('if have to a lot of money'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas used throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic errors would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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