Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

According to me, in this modern era everyone is giving more importance to money instead of other things because they think that if we have money we are happy. However, some people think about other things too as compared to money. In below paragraphs I’m going to discuss both statements and will give my opinion as well.

In first paragraph, I’m going to discuss about reasons why some people think that money is important for staying happily in life. The first and foremost is, nowadays, mostly individuals think that money can buy everything which is important to survive in todays world such as clothes, food and other necessary things as well. Apart from that, mostly people think that if we have money then we have everything. Everybody will prefer to stay with you if we have money which is true nowadays. Thats why, mostly people give more preference to money to stay happy.

On the flip side of the statement, some people still thinking that money is not important to buy happiness in life, some other things can also make us happy such as, spending time with pare ts and close one’s because parents are those with whom we can share anything any sorrow or happiness which is important. Apart from that, if we prefer to spend free time with parents or while holidays prefer to go with parents in parks, spending time at home by organizing some funny games which can bring real happiness to use instead of buying happiness with money.

To conclude it, in my opinion, although, money is important to buy our necessary things but still we can’t buy happiness with money which we can gain from parents, loved ones or some other things too which are important in our life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of why money is seen as important relies on general statements like 'money can buy everything' without exploring the underlying psychological or societal reasons. Similarly, the section on other sources of happiness is repetitive, focusing almost exclusively on parents. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of the concepts mentioned, such as the role of financial security in reducing stress versus the emotional value of human connection.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Apart from that' is used twice). Additionally, some transitions are slightly awkward, such as 'In below paragraphs' and 'In first paragraph'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'those', 'which') is more precise would enhance the flow and cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'important', 'happy', and 'things' throughout the essay. While the meaning is always clear, there is little attempt to use less common or more sophisticated vocabulary. Phrases like 'staying happily in life' are slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of synonyms to express your ideas, which will demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that, while not impeding communication, are noticeable. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('some people still thinking'), incorrect pluralization ('pare ts', 'one’s'), and awkward phrasing ('staying happily in life'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and apostrophes. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and plural forms. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help raise your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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