Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary world, many people believe that money is the main key for a happy life. In this essay I emphasize how lot of money enhance the joy of life and what are other factors affect for happiness except money.

Being rich in economically could affect individual's life physically and mentally in enthusiastic way. Firstly, all human being prefer comfortable lifestyle which including many facilities such as vehicles, stylish clothes, sophisticated electric items and essential household items. If we have enough money we can purchase anything that can make us happy. For instance, when we buy a new mobile phone or a modern vehicle, that is really an owesome feeling. Secondly, though we have all the facilities, occationally we need some mental refreshment and relaxation. To achieve this, majority incline to travel different places or countries. Subsequently, when we feel sick or frustrated everything is useless. Therefore, to fulfill previous desires and maintain a sound health people have to spend money.

On the other hand, some factors can not achieve through money particularly positive relationships and peaceful mindset. Though we have limitless money, when we feel alone or need of some connection such as a trustworthy friend to share our problems or a relation to being affectionate, financially we can not achieve those. Moreover, currencies are always physical and fail to change the mentality. Sometimes we need to expose to the nature or being alone engaging with activities such as yoga or meditation plays a crucial role to make an optimistic thoughts.

In conclusion, although, money plays a vital role for quality and fashionate lifestyle, strong relationships and positive mindset outweigh the benefits which we achieve through money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of how money provides happiness relies on a list of material items rather than a deeper exploration of security or opportunity. Similarly, the discussion on non-monetary factors is clear but could be strengthened with more specific examples or a more nuanced argument. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.0 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Subsequently, when we feel sick...' which does not logically follow the previous point about travel. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'previous desires' which does not clearly link back to the specific points made earlier. Overall, the progression is coherent, but the management of cohesive devices could be more flexible.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'contemporary', 'sophisticated', and 'enthusiastic', but there are also several inaccuracies in word choice and spelling, such as 'owesome' (awesome), 'occationally' (occasionally), and 'fashionate' (fashionable). The phrase 'being rich in economically' is grammatically incorrect and shows a lack of control over collocations. While the meaning is always clear, the range is limited and the errors in word formation prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'many people believe that money is the main key for a happy life' (missing article), 'what are other factors affect for happiness' (incorrect word order and preposition), and 'some factors can not achieve through money' (passive voice error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors with commas and sentence boundaries. These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range.

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