Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this competitive era everyone is the rat race of making money as they feel it is the most vital thing to have a good life. Few individuals thinks that financial wealth is the only way to achieve satisfaction in the life. Whether, wealth is the only way to be happy or there are other sources of happiness is an debatable issue.
To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that wealth plays a crucial role in the life as it can fulfill the dreams by allowing us to buy materialistic things such as, luxurious cars , huge house and beautiful trips. Moreover, more wealth can also give you respect in todays society as nowadays people tend to judge individual based on their net worth which can provide one with a sense of achievement. Lastly, few individuals feel sense of happiness by helping poor people or donating to the religious places. For example, my uncle is the CEO of the TATA group he feel happy because there are about 5000 employees under his payroll and they all are running their families because of him. Moreover, he is also a huge philanthropist and try to donate as much as he can into charity.
On the other hand, I believe money is not the only thing which can make one happy as I have seen many middle class individuals happily surviving and enjoying by staying close to their near and dear ones. Secondly, good health can makes you happy because what is the point of having billions of dollar sitting in bank account if one can not stand up from a hospital bed.
To conclude, although money can buy you happiness in several ways. but there are many different way to achieve satisfaction in life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and other sources of happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of material possessions and social status for the first part, and health and relationships for the second. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The example of the uncle is a bit tangential, as it focuses more on his professional success than the direct link to his personal happiness. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point made directly supports the argument regarding happiness rather than just describing a situation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by minor grammatical issues. The use of referencing is generally clear, though the connection between sentences could be smoother in the second paragraph to improve the overall progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'materialistic', 'philanthropist', and 'net worth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'in the rat race of making money' (should be 'in a rat race to make money') and 'religious places' (a bit vague). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precision would elevate the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Few individuals thinks', 'he feel happy', 'good health can makes you'), missing articles ('in the life'), and punctuation errors (the sentence fragment 'but there are many different way...'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical rules would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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