Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Money is a key tool to access many things but the question arises, is it the only goal for humans? Many people believe that tremendous amount of money can give happiness to individuals. In my viewpoint, there are many other ways by which people can achieve happiness like passion, love from people and victory.

Money is crucial part of life because it fulfills our basic neeeds like shelter, food, clothes and others. Additionally, it allows you to reach the positions and the rooms that might not be possible to access without money. Let us take the example of Aditi Rao, an Indian wrestler who was born in poor household. She won state championships thrice and wanted to compete for National competition but due to her finances she could not move to Mumbai. Mumbai is expensive city with excellent training institutions for sports. This shows us that money is one of the most important equipments to leisure products and passion.

On the other hand, money cannot always give satisfaction and happiness that people are looking forward. Health and love are the primary examples of these. We can see many families around us where the parents are busy earning money for their families so that they can provide luxury. Meanwhile, they forget to give time to the family members. It affects the bond between them and lead to communication gaps. The child suffers as he or she feel not loved enough.

Overall, money is essentail to obtain necessities. It also provides happiness so that you can follow your hobbies but it cannot solve every life problem. People should also value warmth from people around them and their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant, though the development is somewhat uneven. For instance, the example of the wrestler is a good attempt at illustration, but the connection to 'leisure products' is slightly unclear. The discussion on health and love provides a balanced view, but could be further extended to reach a higher band. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task well, providing a logical progression of ideas that directly answers the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two main aspects of the prompt. Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', and 'Overall' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'these' in the third paragraph, which lacks a precise antecedent. Despite these minor points, the flow of ideas is easy to follow and the progression is logical throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'basic needs' and 'communication gaps'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'important equipments to leisure products' and 'tremendous amount of money'. There are also a few spelling errors, such as 'neeeds' and 'essentail'. While you attempt to use a range of vocabulary, the lack of precision in some areas prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and ensuring correct word forms in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the question arises, is it...' (punctuation/structure), 'Mumbai is expensive city' (missing article), and 'he or she feel' (subject-verb agreement). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and ensure consistent control over articles and subject-verb agreement, especially when using complex sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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