Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contemporary times money is one of the most significant commodities of human life. Human's livelihood depends on amount of the money one individual is generating. It is stipulated that having a lot of money is a key to happiness, as money has power to fulfill basic requirements like food, shelter, and clothings. Also, with money people can live peaceful life without any financial struggles, in where they do not have to compromise their needs. However, some other factors like, self satisfaction, having a family and friends around, dream jobs also are equally important factors for happiness of life.

To start with, indeed money makes any person's life easy as one individual is not constantly rushing for cater to needs of his family. A person could focus more in varieties of things like developing hobbies, pursuing dream job, travelling various destinations around the world, without any financial worries. For example in some developing countries the reason behind 80% people's suicides are lack of enough money in their hands, so many times they have taken loans which they cannot afford to pay off, even if amount is so insignificant to many others. In this way having a money is very crucial factor for having a peace of mind and having a happy meaningful life.

On the other side, money solely cannot provides utmost happiness. For instance, if someone has money but not enough people around to share with, it can make a person depressed and can increase the feeling of loneliness. In addition, sometimes people are trapped in their higher paid jobs but lack of job satisfaction, those kind of people end up loosing their sanity and very often doing suicide as they cannot cope up with stressful environment. Next, self satisfaction is also quite crucial as happiness is a state of mind. Some rich celebrities like Salman Khan claiming that they feel alone in nights and is suffering from sleep deprived conditions like insomnia. Even he has a lot of financial security still he is struggling to have a happines of mind, which contradicts the idea that moeny can satisfy everyone.

In conclusion, it is absolutely true that having a good account balance can give immense peace and happiness to one individual but without having some loving people around, a dream job, or self satisfaction, money independently cannot give eternal happiness and peace.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, discussing both the role of money in happiness and alternative factors. Your position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of basic needs and the psychological impact of loneliness. However, the development of these ideas is sometimes uneven. For instance, the example regarding suicide rates in developing countries is a bit generalized and could be more effectively linked to the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more nuanced and directly connected to the specific arguments you are making about happiness.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To start with', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as 'in where they do not have to compromise their needs'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas, though the internal structure of some sentences could be smoother to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary times', 'financial struggles', and 'insomnia'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'cater to needs of his family' (should be 'cater to the needs') and 'loosing their sanity' (should be 'losing'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some collocations are slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on refining your word choices and ensuring that your vocabulary is used with greater precision to express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a money', 'a happy meaningful life'), subject-verb agreement ('money solely cannot provides'), and prepositional usage. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'some rich celebrities like Salman Khan claiming that they feel alone'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic article usage and verb forms to enhance your accuracy.

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