Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many individuals consider money as the main source of happiness. this is easy will include few reasons and example for the same.

To begin with, money has several ways to make people happy. First and foremost, money can provide sense of freedom, security for necessary life needs and ability to come out of any bad situation. For example, Riya, who is one of my good friends, she belongs to top 10 wealthiest family in India. Recently, she moved to Mumbai for her masters. Over there her father provided her with a luxury car, a fully furnished apartment, a chef and a driver for her needs. Since she has been provided with all the facilities, now she can focus on her studies without worrying about anything.

On the other hand, one of my another friend who recently moved to Mumbai for further studies needs to work 24 hours a week in order to complete his needs.

Furthermore, besides money there are many other important factors that can make a human happy. One of them is having a caring family and good health. In my opinion, If someone has a lot of money but he/she cannot share their feelings with someone of their own is a waste of money. At the end of the day what a human needs the most is love and care. which can only be provided by family.

To conclude, being finically stable can provide happiness. however, having a family and good health can also make human as happy as being wealthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of financial security and the importance of family and health. However, the development is somewhat limited. The example of the friend in Mumbai is clear, but the comparison with the second friend is underdeveloped and lacks a clear conclusion or link to the argument. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more depth and ensure that all parts of the prompt are balanced in terms of detail and explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' to transition between ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical phrasing and some awkward sentence structures. For instance, the transition between the two examples in the second paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'this is easy will include few reasons'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial stability', 'wealthiest', and 'fully furnished'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'complete his needs' (instead of 'meet his needs') and 'make human as happy' (missing an article). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you convey your arguments with greater precision and nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('a sense of freedom'), subject-verb agreement issues ('one of my another friend'), and punctuation errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or awkwardly constructed, such as 'which can only be provided by family'. To achieve a higher band, you need to focus on consistent control of basic grammar, particularly articles and sentence boundaries, while also attempting more complex, error-free sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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