Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Many people believe that success of any country is relied on it economic progress. But many other people believe that there are more different reasons for progress of country. In my opinion economic success is most important reason.
On the one hand, a country with greater economic situation has more chances to do development in its area. If it has more money so this can be spend in its education , as a result more scholarships can be provide to students from government. For example, China today is more developed as compared to China some 10 decades ago because in past it is not economically strong.
On the other hand, there are also so many other factors which will contribute in the success of the country such as military development is a major thing to focus. A country with strong military is more safe because in war periods its infrastructure will not affected much due to its massive defence system. For example, in world war one and two the progress of countries with strong military are least effected.
In my opinion, economical progress of a country is the major key for its development because it can spend more in its education, scenic beauty and also in military weapons. For example, a study in 2019 shows that countries with more economical success are sixty person more developed than other countries.
In conclusion, a country with more economical development can spend more in its infrastructure and other aspects but there are also other factors that play a key role in development of country such as military progress . In my opinion economical progress is the major reason for the development of a country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is largely off-topic. The prompt asks about the relationship between money and personal happiness, but the essay discusses the economic progress of countries and military development. While the essay is coherent in its own right, it fails to address the specific task requirements regarding individual happiness. Consequently, the ideas are not relevant to the prompt provided. To improve, ensure you carefully analyze the prompt's keywords—in this case, 'happiness' and 'money'—rather than shifting the focus to national development and macroeconomics.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs with a logical structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the progression of ideas. However, the referencing is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the prompt's topic and the student's chosen topic is non-existent. While the internal flow of the essay is logical, the lack of relevance to the prompt limits the effectiveness of the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'sixty person' instead of 'sixty percent' and 'economic situation' used in a repetitive manner. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms like 'success,' 'developed,' and 'money.' To achieve a higher score, you should incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'success of any country is relied on it economic progress' (passive voice error and pronoun misuse) and 'in past it is not economically strong' (tense error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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