Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that having a lot of money in life is the reason of happiness while some of them are agree with. In my opinion, there are plenty of ways to enjoy the lives money matters but other things like friends, family and so on also matters in our lives.

To begin with, one of the main reasons why excess money leads to happiness is Inflation. Nowadays we can see there are huge amount of people are suffering in poverty because of lack of job opportunities and increase price of goods and services its hard to earn the basic living cost for those having money is key thing to fulfill their needs as they believe if they have a lot of money so they can easily get what they wants so they find their happiness in money. Moreover, jealousy is the another significant point to favor that. many of the people showing of their materialistic things for instance, cars, bikes , jewelry and many more just to make others feel low as the result, they got feeling of jealousy and wishing to having more cash so that they can also match their standard.

On the other hand, many of them believes not only the wealth is only way to be joyful in the life. this argument may be valid to some extent because different people have their own mindset and personality. Love is the most important reason that not always money matters as we all know no one can buy love with money humans also wants their loved once affection and company like a when i kid cry he does not wants anything except their parents, others wants their partners and friends. we can't get actual love family and friends with money we can earn only with affection those people play a very important role in our lives.

In conclusion, although huge money may have their certain advantages, i believe that money is not only things matter in our lives our loved once and our morals and ambitions are much important to having a better life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation regarding inflation is slightly tangential to the core argument of personal happiness, and the section on jealousy is a bit underdeveloped. While the points are relevant, they could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, maintaining a consistent stance throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'many of them believes' which lacks a clear antecedent. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack appropriate punctuation, which disrupts the logical progression of ideas. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the overall coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'materialistic', 'poverty', and 'affection'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'reason of happiness' instead of 'reason for happiness' and 'huge amount of people' instead of 'large number of people'. The range is sufficient to communicate, but the lack of precision and occasional misuse of common phrases prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many of them believes'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'wishing to having'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences that lack necessary commas or full stops. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. More attention to proofreading for subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries is recommended.

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