Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people have opinion that money is the most crucial thing to get happiness. I will shed light on reasons of this thinking and mention other things which might be reason for happiness.

To commence with, there are some causes that why people are wedded with this thinking that they can get harmony and piece only with money. The most significant reason is that poverty; people who belong to middle class family suffers from many financial problem in their life. They always have to live miserable and grief life because they do not have enough money even for their basic needs such as food and water. Money paly an important role in such kind of people's life. Additionally, some people have become materialistic and big dreams. Due to which, they work around the clock to earn more money.

There are other important things which are considered for getting happiness. The most prominent is that emotions and attachment with family and friends. To elaborate, people can not live without their parents, children and partner because whenever they are in bad circumstances, their family and close friends are available to help get out from the problem and misery. Thus, personal support is very important to bring happiness and harmony in their life. Moreover, some people find happiness in religious practice and doing help without any expectation to

In conclusion, although there are certain reasons why money have power to fetch happiness in people's life such as poverty and nature of individuals to become materialistic. However, some other factors play a crucial role to get piece and happiness in one's life such as emotional support.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other sources of happiness. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The explanation of why money brings happiness is clear, but the second body paragraph is cut off mid-sentence, leaving the final point about religious practice incomplete. This prevents a full development of ideas. The position is clear, but the lack of completion in the final argument limits the overall impact. To improve, ensure all points are fully articulated and that the essay reaches a natural, complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and the incomplete final sentence. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the transition between ideas could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the abrupt ending negatively affects the overall coherence of the piece. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring all sentences are finished would enhance the logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the main points. There are some attempts at less common collocations, such as 'wedded with this thinking' and 'around the clock', though some word choices are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'piece' instead of 'peace' and 'fetch happiness'. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'financial problem' instead of 'financial problems'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('money have power', 'people... suffers'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms ('miserable and grief life'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede communication. The range of structures is limited, and the punctuation is generally functional but occasionally inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as these are recurring issues throughout the text.

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