Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's era, being content in life has become a debatable topic when money is involved for your happiness. Some people argue that the only critical way of happiness depends on the tremendous amount of money. There are ways which prove financial freedom makes people happy as well there are other criteria which also require in life.

First and foremost important aspect is the ability to buy easy life for one's family. People always work hard to buy expensive material for their family to make life comfortable. For instance., buying an automatic car to reach office in order to save time. As a result, one can not only spend little more time in the morning with the family but also in the evening with kids. This way, buying power helps to make life easier. Furthermore, taking a family on a holiday builds strong relationship with loved ones and memories. This could only happens when a person has a financial freedom.

There are different things in life to acquire which does not require money but for the peace of mind. Emotional life has become a turmoil because of social media influence. As saying "Money can't buy happiness" which seems the fact in today's era. Stable relation with a spouse brings a lot of happiness as well as peace in a day life. Addition to this, stabilizing helps to balance not only work but also personal life. Therefore, spousal relationship plays vital role in a life.

To put it in a nutshell, although, buying luxury life for one's family and creating a memories yet emotional life is equally important to achieve and enjoy the life with loved ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. You have a clear position, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument about 'buying an automatic car' to save time is a bit simplistic and could be expanded to discuss the broader concept of financial security reducing stress. The second body paragraph introduces the importance of relationships, which is a strong point, but the connection between 'stabilizing' and personal life is vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Furthermore', and 'To put it in a nutshell' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'as well there are other criteria which also require in life'. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure that ideas build upon each other more naturally rather than appearing as a list of points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial freedom', 'turmoil', and 'spousal relationship'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'buying easy life', 'stabilizing helps to balance', and 'creating a memories'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'happiness' and 'money' would also help elevate the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' vs. zero article), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments. For example, 'This could only happens' should be 'This could only happen', and 'as well as peace in a day life' is grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as the unnecessary period in 'For instance.,'. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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