Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is an undeniable fact that, happiness plays an important role in everyone life. It become a part and parcel of their life. However , few individuals deem that the person who have a enough money is the happiest person in the world while others reckon that there are a number of other factors that assist them to stay happy. I think there are a plethora of reasons behind this phenomenon that I will explain in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with former view, with the aid of money people can fulfill their dreams whether it is purchasing a house, electronic gadgets, attires and vehicle. They feel inner complacency with materialistic things. In addition, if people have a lot of currency they can get higher education by getting enrollment in renowned institution that help them to become a knowledgeable person.

On the paradoxical sides, there are another things that is vital to make people happy such as family members. For example , if people live with their family they have opportunity to spend their time and share the whole day stress with them and get a solution to resolve it. This in, turn , they feel relaxed and happy. Beside this, physical fitness help individuals to stay mentally and physically fit that cannot be possible with money. To explicate it, if spectators prefer to do exercise or yoga in their life they can concentrate better on their work that help them to maintain a balance between their personal and professional life.

In the summation, although with money individuals can cater their needs but there are a umpteen other factors that cannot buy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the role of money in happiness and alternative factors like family and physical fitness. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how money leads to 'inner complacency' or how education specifically fosters happiness could be more deeply explored. The conclusion is also quite brief and lacks a final summary statement that synthesizes the arguments effectively. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your supporting examples with more depth and provide a more comprehensive concluding thought.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In addition', and 'On the paradoxical sides'. However, some of these transitions are slightly awkward or misused, such as 'On the paradoxical sides' (which should be 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely') and 'Beside this' (should be 'Besides this'). Additionally, the punctuation around some connectors, such as 'This in, turn , they feel', is distracting and disrupts the flow of the text. Improving the precision of your linking words will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including some ambitious choices like 'plethora', 'complacency', and 'umpteen'. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation. For example, 'attires' is used incorrectly as a plural noun, 'currency' is used where 'wealth' or 'financial resources' would be more natural, and 'spectators' is used incorrectly to refer to people in general. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they do indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage and a better understanding of word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('the person who have a enough money', 'physical fitness help') and article usage ('in everyone life', 'in upcoming paragraphs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and spacing issues. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they rarely impede communication. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor punctuation and article errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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