Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The connection between happiness and money has sparked considerable debate in contemporary discourse. This essay will first examine how money became the primary driver behind this trend, before demonstrating the other ways of happiness.

Addressing the initial question, happiness from having a lot of money is largely driven by society. The underlying mechanism behind this relies on the way people interact with each other. In most of the porch areas, people tend to show off their emotions by having a luxury car and lifestyle, which negatively triggers the neighbours to compete with them in the race. For instance, recent observations in health indicate that individuals with an abundance of wealth live longer because they have access to all the medical facilities and diet plans that nurture their healthy well-being.

On the flip side, there are a couple of things in life that can make people happy, such as family bonds and self fitness. For a person who is spending hours at work in an extremely harsh environment, a cup of coffee with parents and wife after work is one of the best combinations to foster a happy life. Additionally, an individual who can manage to spend some time socialising with friends and take care of his physique is always considered the happiest man on this planet.

In conclusion, this topic is catalysed by money, and its emergence undoubtedly marks a transformative evolution. Navigating this trend will require continued focus on health and family that would align effectively with the long term goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and alternative sources of happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of how money leads to happiness via 'porch areas' and 'showing off' is unclear and lacks logical depth. The second body paragraph introduces family and fitness but does not fully explore why these are effective alternatives to wealth. While the response is relevant, the arguments lack the depth and analytical rigour required for a higher band. The position is clear, but the supporting evidence is somewhat anecdotal and lacks sufficient elaboration to fully convince the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Addressing the initial question', 'On the flip side', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the vague mention of 'porch areas'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the central topic of each paragraph is generally maintained, though the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a more natural, sophisticated coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'contemporary discourse', 'catalysed', and 'transformative evolution'. However, there are instances of awkward collocation and word choice that hinder precision. For example, 'self fitness' is not a standard collocation, and 'porch areas' is an unusual way to describe residential or social settings. While the meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and the student relies on some repetitive or slightly unnatural phrasing. More precise terminology would elevate the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'the other ways of happiness' (should be 'other sources of happiness') and 'take care of his physique' (which lacks parallel structure with 'socialising'). Punctuation is generally correct, and the errors present do not impede communication. However, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited, and the control over these structures is not consistent enough to reach the 7.0 band. The majority of sentences are understandable, but more variety and accuracy in complex syntax are needed.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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