Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The solution of being happy in life is to possesses huge amount of money or not has become a significant debate. While having financial wealth can help you do things that you wanted, spending quality time with the loved ones and doing the work that brings satisfaction are superior ways for people to be happy. This essay will discuss the reasons in detail.

First of all, being wealthy offer security and choices. To be more specific, if an individual has significant amount of money, they do not need to worry about the future of them or their children. They do not struggle to meet their daily basic needs. Additionally, they could choose to study in foreign countries, dine in famous restaurants and purchase whatever apparels they love without thinking twice.

However, there are numerous ways for being the happiest. one of the prominent way is human connection. Having people around that are loved and caring. They will always be there to support whenever they are needed. Sharing beautiful relationships with families and giving their valuable time to make memories. These memories can help to cherish at the old age. Furthermore, self satisfaction relives from stress and anxiety. For example, a person working for a company for high salary and not happy with their work that they do. Consequently, impacts on their physical and mental health. Therefore, relaying only on wealth cannot make one joyful.

In the conclusion, although being rich provides security and choice of life, self satisfaction and being with loved ones are the most crucial to be content.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the points regarding financial security and human connection are relevant, the explanation of 'self-satisfaction' is slightly underdeveloped and lacks a clear link to the prompt's requirement for specific examples. The essay covers all requirements, but the depth of analysis could be improved to reach a higher band by providing more concrete, illustrative examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a progression of ideas from the role of money to alternative sources of happiness. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Additionally', 'However', and 'Consequently' are used to link sentences and ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'one of the prominent way' should be 'ways'). Paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the reader's understanding of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'significant debate' and 'cherish', which are used correctly. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing or word choice errors, such as 'relives from stress' (should be 'relieves stress') and 'relaying only on wealth' (should be 'relying'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for more precise control over collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('being wealthy offer security', 'one of the prominent way'), missing articles, and awkward sentence fragments ('Having people around that are loved and caring'). These errors are noticeable and occur in both simple and complex sentences. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that all sentences are complete and grammatically sound.

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