Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The question of whether the key to happiness in life is possessing a huge amount of money has become a significant debate. While having financial wealth can help individuals do what they want, spending quality time with loved ones and doing work that brings satisfaction are superior ways to achieve genuine happiness.

First of all, being wealthy offers security and choices. To be more specific, if individuals have a significant amount of money, they do not need to worry about their future or the future of their children. They do not struggle to meet their basic daily needs. Additionally, wealthy individuals have the freedom to study in foreign countries, dine at famous restaurants, and purchase whatever clothing they like without thinking twice.

However, there are numerous other ways to achieve happiness. One of the most prominent ways is through human connection—having people around who are loving and caring, and who will always offer support whenever it is needed. Sharing strong relationships with family and dedicating valuable time to creating memories provides deep comfort, giving people joyful experiences to look back on in their old age. Furthermore, personal job satisfaction relieves stress and anxiety. For example, if a person works for a company merely for a high salary without enjoying the work, it will eventually take a toll on their physical and mental health. Therefore, relying solely on wealth cannot make a person truly joyful.

In conclusion, although being rich provides financial security and a comfortable lifestyle, self-satisfaction and strong connections with loved ones are far more crucial for achieving long-term contentment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly identify how money contributes to happiness—specifically through security and freedom—and contrast this with non-material sources like human connection and job satisfaction. The position is consistent throughout the essay. Ideas are well-developed, particularly the point about job satisfaction, which is supported by a relevant example regarding the trade-off between salary and mental health. To reach a higher band, you could provide more nuanced examples or explore the relationship between these two factors in greater depth, perhaps by discussing whether money is a prerequisite for the other forms of happiness mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'First of all,' 'To be more specific,' 'Additionally,' and 'Furthermore.' These transitions help guide the reader through your argument without feeling mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the discussion of money from the discussion of other factors. The structure is sound and supports the overall clarity of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases such as 'financial wealth,' 'genuine happiness,' 'human connection,' and 'take a toll on' are used accurately and naturally. While the vocabulary is appropriate and clear, it remains somewhat standard. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated or idiomatic collocations (e.g., 'financial stability' instead of 'financial security' or 'intrinsic satisfaction' instead of 'self-satisfaction'). However, the current range is more than adequate for the task, and there are no errors in word choice that impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

Your grammar is strong, with a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use conditional sentences ('if individuals have...') and subordinate clauses effectively to build your argument. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is excellent. There are no significant grammatical slips that distract the reader. To push into the higher bands, you could experiment with a wider variety of complex structures, such as inversion or more advanced passive constructions, though your current control is already very reliable and accurate.

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