Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Many people believe that in order to live a life full of happiness and joy, you need to have a lot of money.
Although, wealth can have a tremendous effect on individual's lifestyle. Moving further, a rich person can have a sublime life as compared to others. For instance, money can give privillage to travel anywhere, eat anything and buy any cloths you want. Moreover, you can receive a very high class health services. Lastly, having a lot of money gives you freedom to fulfill your all wishes. For example, many people around world wish to live in their dream house and drive their favorite car.
However, Money is not the solutions for all of problems and also that does not give you true happiness. Similarly, there are several things in the world that gives you real joy. Firstly, money can not buy you mental peace which is closely related to your mood and happiness. There are many people in the world that are truly satisfied with what they have in their life and they are so grateful for everything. Secondly, spending good time in nature as well as with your loved ones also gives you true happiness. Lastly, following healthy lifestyle, regular workouts and eating nutrious food can contribute significantly to happy life.
Hence, money is indispensable for good and healthy lifestyle but on the another hand it is not necessary to feel natural joy and feel happiness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. However, the ideas are somewhat underdeveloped, and the essay falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. While the position is clear, the supporting examples, such as 'dream house' or 'travel', are quite generic. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or specific real-world examples to ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Firstly', and 'However' to transition between ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'Moving further' and 'Similarly' (which does not fit the context of introducing a contrasting point). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'indispensable', 'tremendous', and 'nutritious'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'privillage' (spelling), 'high class health services' (collocation), and 'on the another hand'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of more complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in the world', 'a happy life'), subject-verb agreement issues ('things... that gives'), and punctuation errors (e.g., 'However, Money is...'). While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization, article usage, and capitalization after punctuation marks.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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