Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

having a lot of money is a major criterial for happiness for some people in the society and world at large. having a lot of money can make you happy in ways that can not be entirely explained, money eases stress and anxiety for some people, it makes decision making faster, for example i want to go on a vacation, without money it wont be possible, because i will need to book for my flight ticket and make hotel reservations with money. generally being able to solve our personal and family problems have a way of making us feel fulfilled.

apparently aside having lots of money another thing that is capable of making people happy is finding love, career fulfillment, family, educational accomplishment. being able to archive life`s milestone is a greet fit. when you love and the love is reciprocated it is a reason for joy and happiness for example when i graduated from the university it was one of the happiest days of my life .when i got married to my husband that was another great milestone in my life ,furthermore when i gave birth to my adorable kids that was source of happiness for me.

having alot of money, have a way of making people happy but aside money there are other things capable of making people happy such as finding love ,starting a family, finding a dream job and graduating from the university or college .going on expensive trips, either solo or with family. meeting up with old friends is also another way of finding happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of money in reducing stress and the importance of personal milestones like marriage and career. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money makes decision-making faster is a good start but lacks depth. The essay tends to list ideas rather than fully exploring the 'why' behind them. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more detailed analysis or logical consequences to ensure the response is fully developed throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes repetitive. For example, the phrase 'having a lot of money' is used repeatedly to start sentences, which hinders the flow. There is also a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas between sentences. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the transition between the discussion of money and other factors could be smoother. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'happy' and 'money' throughout the text. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'criterial' instead of 'criterion' and 'archive' instead of 'achieve'. Additionally, 'greet fit' is an incorrect collocation. To improve, you should aim to use more precise synonyms and academic collocations. While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the presence of these errors limit your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Common issues include punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas and periods), subject-verb agreement errors like 'having a lot of money, have a way', and run-on sentences. The use of articles and prepositions is also inconsistent. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, punctuation rules, and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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