Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, many pupils belive that having more money is direclty proportional to more happiness in life. In my opinion, money can help people to be happy, but in some cases, there are also a lot of differnet things taht can make people happy too.
Firstly, money can make people happy because it reduces financial struggle in real life. To be add on this, money can help to enjoy their life upto standards they want. To explicate, despite all computer engineers, software engineers live the best life becuase they earn more money, which helps them to go on vacation every quartely by saving some amount from their salry. Additionally, money can also reduce a person stress by paying bills, child-fees etc.. For instance, according to research of new yourk times, people with more salary opt to live in cheap aprtments to save the money and the amount of salary they got from the organization, they use them to pay the bill as soon as possible and also give their children proper lifestyle and education what they want, so by fullfilling the family duties it gives less stress to a person.
On the other hand, money is not the thing that make a person happy but sometimes family as well. Additionally, If a person is earning money but a job also plays an important role in person happiness. To exemplify, medical students they need approximately 5-10 years to achieve their goal and after those years they finally achieve their goal and when it comes to save a person life they don't really think about the money. Moreover, friends support also give happiness to person nowadays. To explicate, when i was confused about my master degree my friend helped me througout the process as well as till the completion of the course, so i can finally achieve my dream.
In conclusion, money can give a person what life he wants and enjoyment, but it is not only the way. Thinkgs like job, family and freinds also plays an crucial role in a person happiness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation regarding software engineers and vacation frequency is a bit anecdotal and lacks depth. The second body paragraph attempts to discuss career satisfaction and social support, but the connection between medical students and the concept of 'not thinking about money' is slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained and directly linked to the prompt's core question about happiness.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To be add on this' and 'To explicate'. Referencing is occasionally imprecise, which makes the flow feel a bit disjointed in places. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking phrases would enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'belive', 'direclty', 'differnet', 'taht', 'becuase', 'quartely', 'salry', 'new yourk times', 'aprtments', 'fullfilling', 'freinds', 'Thinkgs'). These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone of the essay. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial struggle' and 'professional satisfaction', the range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes and work on using more precise collocations to express ideas more fluently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'money is not the thing that make a person happy' (subject-verb agreement), 'medical students they need' (redundant pronoun), and 'when i was confused about my master degree' (article/preposition issues). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of ellipses and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent sentence construction will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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