Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals think that having an ample of money is the simple method for a happy life. This essay will explicate the benefits of having a plenty of money for a happy life and also the other ways that can provide the happiness.

To commence with, having a lot of money provides the financial security to people. In other words, people can achieve a better lifestyle as they can afford a comfortable house, eat their choise of food, explore the world by going on vacations on their favourite places. As a result, they feel serene without taking any stress of their expenses that makes them happier. For example, a high income person do not need to worry about monthly bills and other expenses that provides a peace of mind.

Moving to the other statement, there are some other ways also that gives happiness to a person. Some people feel joy by spending their quality time with their family members and friends. To explain this, better relationships with their loved ones, a good health, better job satisfaction, travelling and exploring the world, by achieving something good that they wish for in their life can also a way of hapiness for some masses. For instance, people with low income look joyful as they are loved and supported by thier kith and kins.

In conclusion, although money can provide a flexible and happy life by providing all the facilities to individuals but some people prefer their relations and their support to spend a peaceful life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money provides happiness is limited to basic needs like housing and food, and the section on other factors lists several ideas (family, health, job satisfaction) without exploring any of them in depth. To reach a higher band, you should select one or two points and expand upon them with more detailed reasoning or specific, illustrative examples. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In other words', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the second paragraph lists several factors in a repetitive 'and' structure ('better relationships... a good health, better job satisfaction, travelling... and exploring'). Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that sentences flow more naturally into one another would enhance the coherence of your writing. Paragraphing is used appropriately throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial security' and 'job satisfaction'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'an ample of money' (should be 'an ample amount of money' or 'ample money'), 'a plenty of money' (should be 'plenty of money'), and 'high income person' (should be 'high-income individual'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and refining your use of articles and quantifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a high income person do not need') and article usage ('a happy life', 'the happiness'). There are also minor punctuation and spelling errors, such as 'thier' and 'hapiness'. While these errors are frequent, they rarely cause confusion for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should aim for greater accuracy in your complex structures and proofread carefully to eliminate basic slips in spelling and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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