Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the materialistic era, some individuals claim that having a hefty amount of money is the primary way to be happy. I will elaborate on how a lot of money might make people happier, as well as what other things are important for making people feel happy, in the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the core thing that is offered by a lot of money is life security. People who have earned or have a countless amount of money cannot only fulfill the necessities like top-notch education, premium food, and a better house for their family with ease but also complete their bucket list wishes and feel pleased. They have no worries about fluctuating inflation or mortgage rates or any economic crisis, as they have enough money for future unpredictable circumstances. To cite an example, individuals who live near or below the poverty line might have scarcity of small things; what if they lose their job, or what if the mortgage rate is increased? Because they might not have enough money to feel happy or secure. This belief justifies how money can make people joyful.

Furthermore, if we take into consideration other important things besides money that are needed to feel or make people happy, then having leisure time to spend with family and friends. Although money might buy happiness. it will not replace friends or family members. If people have no friends or family members near them to celebrate any events or festivals, then people might not feel happy even if they have a hefty amount of money. For instance, international working professionals have a decent amount of money. However, they feel unhappy because they are far from their nearest and dearest ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by explaining how money can bring happiness through security and by discussing alternative sources of happiness, such as relationships and leisure time. The position is clear throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning international working professionals and poverty-line scenarios. Although some arguments could be explored in even greater depth, the coverage is solid and meets the criteria for Band 7, as all prompt requirements are thoroughly tackled with a clear and coherent line of argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to the economic arguments of happiness, and finally to social and relational aspects. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'To commence with' and 'Furthermore', although referencing and transitions can occasionally feel slightly mechanical (e.g., 'This belief justifies how money can make people joyful.'). Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, ensuring the reader can follow the writer's line of thought effortlessly. Overall, the structural flow aligns well with the Band 7 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, utilizing phrases like 'materialistic era', 'hefty amount of money', 'top-notch education', and 'unpredictable circumstances'. There are occasional lapses in collocation and word choice, such as 'countless amount of money' (money is usually uncountable, so 'vast amount' or 'countless sums' would be more natural) and 'scarcity of small things'. However, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, and meaning is communicated clearly throughout, supporting a solid Band 6.5 or 7.0 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses and conditional structures (e.g., 'If people have no friends or family members near them...'). There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as the sentence fragment 'then having leisure time to spend with family and friends' in the third paragraph, which lacks a main verb. Punctuation errors also occur, such as the comma splice in 'Although money might buy happiness. it will not replace...'. Despite these flaws, the majority of sentences are understandable, and communication is rarely impeded, placing the grammar firmly in the Band 6 territory.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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