Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's evolving world, some people think that having more money make people happy in their life. While financial security can certainly make people happier by reducing stress and providing greater freedom. However, better relationships and good health are equally important. In this essay, I shall discuss both perspectives before presenting my view.

Out of all the arguments, one of the prominent benefits of having more is the happiness. That is to say, having enough money allows people to meet their basic needs without consantly worrying their finances. Moreover, wealthy people generally have more freedom to enjoy their lives. They can travel, enjot their hobbies and spend more quality time with their families instead of working long hours. For instance, a person with a stable income can afford a good house, healthy food and medical treatment, whcih can provide a sense of security.Therefore, having a enough money can improve people's quality of life including physical and mental-mental wellbeing.

On the other hand, money is not only source of happiness. Other significant factor of happiness is having strong relationships with family and friends. People who support in challenging situation often have someone to share their problems, which can give them emotional support. In adiition, good health is another essential factor. Even a wealthy person may struggle to enjoy life if they suffer from a serious illness. For example, teachers, healthcare workers and private industries employee may experience a strong sense of happiness despite earing a lower salary.

In conclusion, although having a enough maoney can make life easier and more comfortable by providing finacial security and greater freedom. However, I strongly believe that happiness depends on strong family bond, good health and meaningful life can provide a better and a deeprs happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing how money can bring happiness and identifying other contributing factors like relationships and health. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are a bit repetitive and under-developed, particularly in the second paragraph where the elaboration on financial freedom is somewhat superficial. Examples are provided, such as affording a good house and medical treatment, which help support the main arguments. The overall treatment of the prompt satisfies the requirements for a Band 6.0 performance, as all parts of the prompt are addressed, though the depth of idea extension could be more thorough.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as distinct body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'On the other hand', though some referencing and linking mechanisms feel mechanical or slightly awkward, as seen in 'That is to say, having enough money allows people...'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different perspectives. However, logical progression is occasionally interrupted by sentence fragments and abrupt transitions, such as starting a sentence with 'Therefore, having a enough money...' immediately following a previous conclusion. This places the performance comfortably at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'financial security', 'emotional support', and 'mental wellbeing'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, including 'consantly worrying their finances', 'enjot their hobbies', 'not only source', and 'having a enough maoney'. Spelling slips like 'whcih', 'consantly', and 'earing' are also present. These errors do not impede overall communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.0, as the vocabulary control lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over clause structures through conditional ideas and relative clauses. However, there are numerous grammatical errors and faulty sentence structures. Examples include 'having more money make people happy', 'having enough money allows people to meet their basic needs without consantly worrying their finances' (missing preposition), 'mental-mental wellbeing', and 'meaningful life can provide a better and a deeprs happiness.' Furthermore, the second sentence of the introduction is an incomplete fragment starting with 'While'. Due to the frequency of these grammatical and punctuation inaccuracies, the response aligns best with Band 5.0.

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