Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The importance of money cannot be overemphasized. A lot of people argue that being wealthy is a key reason to be happy. Many rich individuals can afford a lot of things at the expense of their finance from luxurious properties to consistent travelling and tourism. However, non-tangible items such a good health can be another form of happiness.
On the one hand, Affluential citizens can afford expensive properties and afford travelling to beautiful destinations worldwide. Rich people can afford exquisite investments such as Mansions, a Yatch or a Boat to keep them joyful. Also, they can hire a private Jet to wonderful destinations globally such as visiting the Eiffel Tower in Paris or Jeju Island in South korea can make a person feeling super-elated. As a result, most people feel fufillment in tourism and purchasing exquisite properties.
On the other hand, there is a term that 'health is wealth'. When a person is free from sickness and disease; therefore, being able to move around without health challenges, it makes them happy always. Furthermore, even when a successful person is sick, they might not be happy at the moment. For example, a person that is sick of malaria and typhiod cannot be happy even with billions in the account; not until they are treated. Therefore, being free for any ailment can make a person joyful.
In conclusion, having skyscrapers and expensive trips can be one way to make a person joyful. Nevertheless, Having a sound body can also be another way that makes a person truly happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing how money can bring happiness through luxurious properties and travel, as well as alternative sources of happiness such as good health. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are slightly repetitive or under-developed, such as the examples in the first body paragraph which focus heavily on luxury items like 'Mansions, a Yatch or a Boat' and 'a private Jet'. While the main points are covered adequately, a deeper elaboration on psychological or emotional well-being alongside material wealth would elevate the task response. Overall, the prompt is suitably answered, earning a band score of 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay is coherent overall with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas into body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are employed to connect thoughts, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are minor issues with referencing and mechanical transitions; for instance, the sentence starting with 'When a person is free from sickness... therefore, being able to move around...' is grammatically disjointed and affects the smooth progression of ideas. Nevertheless, the logical organization remains clear throughout, justifying a band score of 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'super-elated', 'fufillment', and 'exquisite investments'. However, there are notable spelling and word-form errors, including 'Affluential' instead of affluent, 'Yatch' instead of yacht, 'fufillment' instead of fulfillment, and 'typhiod' instead of typhoid. Some collocations are also slightly awkward, such as 'finance' used instead of finances or financial capacity. Because these lexical errors do not severely impede communication, the response fits the criteria for a band score of 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with varying success. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation slips, such as capitalization issues ('South korea', 'Nevertheless, Having') and awkward phrasing like 'can make a person feeling super-elated'. Punctuation is also misused in conditional and dependent clauses, such as the semicolon usage in 'When a person is free from sickness and disease; therefore, being able to move around without health challenges, it makes them happy always.' Despite these frequent errors, the meaning is generally clear and communication is rarely impeded, warranting a band score of 5.5.
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