Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's rapidly evolving world the topic of money and happiness has sparked a considerable debate among the indivduals and experts alike. While there are valid argugments in support of against this issue, it remanis a mater of personal priorties, and social values.Some pepole believe that having a fortune of money will make them happy but other argue that other things is main in life. I largely disagree to have lot of money because it creates bigger problems.
To begin with, there are serveral reasons why pepole support to have lots of money in there life.First most think that I can be used to do anything and any kind of freedom you want. However, other use this as a symbol of power and authority because everyone maor weekness is money nowaday. For example, the recent study shows that pepole with much monney are more happy rather than middle class or working indivdals.
On the other hand, there are also convincing arguments in favour of other things which make people more happy anyone than money. Furthermore, the real problem with money is not earning it is who to hide it experts says. We can bribe any one and make our ways to happen the particular things but is consider very unethical by nature. For example we can build a playgorud for our community which is used by locals to entertain themselves and reduce there stress and do a range of exercises.Thus, although the first perspective has certain advantages, the opposing argument also deserves careful consideration.
In conclusion, I agree to make money but we should also consider other things in our life.Ultimately, a balanced and well-considered approach is likely to produce more beneficial outcomes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing how money might bring happiness through freedom and power, as well as alternative sources of happiness such as community projects and stress reduction. A position is presented, stating that money can cause bigger problems and that a balanced approach is needed. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally vague, with sweeping statements such as 'everyone maor weekness is money nowaday' and somewhat disjointed examples regarding bribing or building playgrounds. The argument would benefit from deeper elaboration and clearer examples to reach a higher band. Consequently, it fits the descriptor for Band 5.0, where the task is addressed, but ideas remain somewhat under-developed and the position could be more clearly articulated throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing a basic attempt at structural organisation. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic and awkward cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore, the real problem with money is not earning it is who to hide it experts says' and 'Thus, although the first perspective...'. Pronoun referencing is also unclear in places, such as 'it can be used to do anything' where the antecedent is ambiguous. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion is faulty and mechanical. This performance aligns with Band 5.0, characterized by some overall organisation but a lack of clear progression, alongside inaccurate or inadequate use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text. Examples of misspellings and lexical inaccuracies include 'indivduals', 'argugments', 'remanis', 'mater', 'priorties', 'pepole', 'maor', 'weekness', 'monney', 'playgorud', and 'there' instead of 'their'. While the writer attempts some less common phrasing like 'rapidly evolving world' and 'balanced and well-considered approach', the high frequency of errors in spelling and collocation causes noticeable strain for the reader. This corresponds to a Band 4.0 descriptor, where vocabulary is basic and errors repeatedly impede smooth reading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('pepole support', 'experts says'), incorrect preposition use ('disagree to have', 'in favour of other things which make people more happy anyone than money'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic in several sentences. These numerous errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and distort meaning in places. Therefore, the grammar aligns with Band 4.0, characterized by frequent errors and a very limited range of reliable structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.