Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Several individuals say the major way to be excited in life, is to be wealthy. Although love and good health can also bring happiness. This essay will discuss ways wealth can bring happiness.

Having a great deal of money can give an individual a higher status in the society and can also bring about ease. Many individuals relish in having a higher status. A higher status brings about respect and importance in the society. Individuals take glory in having people idolize them and speak highly of them. It enables a sense of pride and a feeling of accomplishment. For instance, celebrities and wealthy people like the Kardashians, take pride in having people idolize them. This is because of how much money they have and their expensive lifestyle.

Furthermore, wealth brings about ease. Individuals by nature, hates physical or mental stress. Having a great deal of money allows people to outsource in areas of their life they experience difficulty. This outsourcing can include hiring a chef to prepare their meals, hiring a housekeeper to ensure the house is tidy and employing a personal assistant that provides assistant in certain personal areas. Being wealthy also allows people to purchase top equipments which brings ease and comfort to them. For example, a wealthy person can own their own private jet. This eliminates the stress of travelling with strangers and waiting at the airport for long hours.

In conclusion, the primary way to be happy in life, is to be rich. Being rich gives individuals a higher status and brings about ease

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing how money brings happiness through status and ease, although the second part regarding other sources of happiness is only touched upon briefly in the introduction rather than fully explored in the body paragraphs. The student establishes a clear position throughout the essay. The ideas presented are generally relevant and supported with examples, such as mentioning celebrities like the Kardashians to illustrate social status and outsourcing daily chores to demonstrate ease. However, the development of ideas could be more balanced, given that the prompt explicitly asks about other things in life that bring happiness, which is largely neglected in the main body. Consequently, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical arrangement of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with an introduction, distinct body paragraphs focusing on status and ease, and a concluding paragraph. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'Furthermore' and 'For instance', although some referencing is slightly mechanical. For example, the transition between sentences could be smoother in places, and the second sentence of the introduction awkwardly links love and health with a fragment: 'Although love and good health can also bring happiness. This essay will discuss ways wealth can bring happiness.' Despite these minor mechanical flaws, the organisation is coherent, supporting an overall score of Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'outsource', 'status', and 'accomplishment'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher band. For instance, the student writes 'Individuals by nature, hates physical or mental stress', where 'hates' does not agree with the plural subject 'Individuals', and later uses 'top equipments', treating the uncountable noun 'equipment' as a plural. Furthermore, the opening sentence contains an awkward collocation: 'excited in life' instead of 'happy in life'. These errors do not impede communication, placing the response solidly at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Complex structures are attempted with varying degrees of success, such as 'Having a great deal of money allows people to outsource in areas of their life they experience difficulty.' However, there are several grammatical errors scattered throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement issues are present, such as 'Individuals ... hates'. Additionally, there is a minor punctuation error with an unnecessary comma in the first sentence ('in life, is to be wealthy') and an awkward phrasing in 'provides assistant' instead of 'assistance'. The frequency of these errors places the grammatical performance at Band 6.0.

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