Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many people suggest that the primary way of living happy life is having abundant of money. In fact, the majority of people are approaching plenty of different ways to get rich instantly through lotteries, online scamming and gambling because they believe getting a lot of money will solve numerous problems and eventually will make them happy.

There is no question that having a lot of money does make people happy. People having financial stability can help them build a better life than people who lack it. The most significant thing in anybody's life is health and money buys both health and life. Rich people can get access to good doctors, medications, health equipment, private nurses whereas poor people stand in a long queue waiting for their token number to be called and seen by a doctor. Additionally, money helps in building a stable life for family, providing private education to children, spending quality time with family like going on international trips, concerts, and movies. For example, a rich person suffering from depression can quickly book an expensive hotel in a new york city and meet his old friends to cheer himself whereas a poor person still goes to work dodging his mental illness because of the fact that money is more important to him than his mental health.

Though there are plenty of other things as well that can make people happy. Since, money can't purchase a good loving partner so, having a good life partner is a true blessing. Having a good loving family, beautiful children and a pretty wife make a life living worth irrespective of how rich they are because love and quality time with family are priceless. Moreover, having healthy kids, watching movie together with all family members, no police case registered, no regular visit to doctor and good mental health are other things which make people happy.

For instance, a person has high 6-digit salary but a bad boss, who ruins his office day by yelling at him, giving him plenty of work, no good relationship with colleagues will take away peace from his life and making him poor, but on other hand a person has low salary but a good boss, colleagues, managers and has chances of promotion is rich.

In my conclusion, although no one can deny that having financial stability in life mitigates majority of problems, having good mental health and peace in life is the real luxury. Rich people often have multiple options to make their happy such as attending expensive concerts, a quick trip to any country and easy access to hospitals but for poor people it is the quality time with family, loving partner and good natural health that make them happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task fully, discussing both how money might bring happiness and exploring other factors such as family, health, and a positive work environment. The position is clear throughout the essay, and ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as comparing a wealthy person treating depression to a poor person working through illness, and contrasting high- and low-salary career environments. While some generalisations are present, the main points are well developed and directly answer the prompt. This meets the criteria for Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction to arguments for money bringing happiness, alternative sources of happiness, and a thoughtful conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Though', 'Moreover', and 'In my conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader, although referencing is occasionally slightly repetitive or mechanical (e.g., 'a person has... but a person has...'). Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, resulting in a cohesive structure that fits the Band 7 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for flexibility and precision, successfully using less common items such as 'financial stability', 'mitigates majority of problems', and 'natural health'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation slips, such as 'living happy life', 'abundant of money', 'online scamming' instead of 'gambling scams', and 'make their happy'. Spelling is generally good, but awkward lexical choices prevent the response from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay incorporates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Since money can't purchase a good loving partner so, having a good life partner is a true blessing'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly missing articles ('in a new york city', 'living happy life'), incorrect prepositions, and faulty punctuation like unnecessary commas preceding 'so'. While these errors do not impede communication, they persist throughout the text, aligning the grammar profile with Band 6.

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