Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued, that real happiness comes from money. The more money one has, the happier he is. This is because with money, people can buy all the luxuries in this world. This essay will dicuss how having a lot of money make people happy and what other things can also play a role in making individuals satisfied.
There are many reasons why having a lot of money make people happy. The primary reason is with money, people can fulfil their dreams easily. This is because, without cash individuals can not buy their favourite things such as; new gadgets, clothes, cars, or a house. Moreover, buying your favourite things gives you real inner peace, and this can only be poosible with having a lot of money. For example, I recently heard about an incident in India, where a child commited suicide because his parents could not afford an iphone for him. Furthermore, financial stability gives people freedom, it allows them to travel the world, explore it and enjoy their life. As a result, such people are more satisfied. Therefore, having a lot of money make people happy.
Happiness can also be attributed to many other factors. One of the major source of happiness is having a family, being sorrounded by your loved ones is very satisfying and gives family members inner peace. In addition, having a good company also makes people happy, this can be a good partner, a loyal friend or a helping colleague. For instance, if an individual has everything in life, but on one to share with. It can be really depressing. So, people are also a source of happiness for each other.
In conclusion, significant number of individuals belive that having a lot of money make people happy, because with money people can fulfill their dreams and enjoy their lives. In addition to money, having nice family members, a peaceful company or a group of friends make people happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing how having money can bring happiness and identifying alternative sources of happiness, such as family and friends. The position is clear throughout, and ideas are extended with relevant explanations, such as the discussion on financial stability and freedom. However, some ideas are slightly over-generalized or supported with extreme or brief examples, such as the mention of the child committing suicide over an iPhone. The development remains relevant and covers the scope of the task well. This performance aligns comfortably with the Band 7 descriptor, which requires all parts of the task to be addressed and ideas supported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing distinct aspects of the prompt, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences and paragraphs, such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition'. However, referencing and transitions are at times a bit mechanical, and punctuation issues occasionally disrupt the flow, such as the intrusive comma in the opening sentence ('It is often argued, that...'). Despite these minor flaws, there is a clear overall progression throughout the essay, fitting the Band 6.0 to 6.5 profile, rounding to a solid 6.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'financial stability', 'luxuries', and 'inner peace'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'dicuss' instead of 'discuss', 'poosible' instead of 'possible', 'sorrounded' instead of 'surrounded', and 'belive' instead of 'believe'. Additionally, some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'having a good company' when referring to friends or partners. These errors do not impede overall communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.0, as the vocabulary range remains somewhat restricted and contains recurring slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that persist throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'making a lot of money make people happy' and comma splices or misplaced commas, such as 'The primary reason is with money, people can fulfil their dreams easily'. There is also a fragment sentence in the third paragraph: 'For instance, if an individual has everything in life, but on one to share with.' These errors demonstrate control that fits the Band 6 descriptor, where simple and complex forms are mixed alongside errors that rarely impede communication.
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