Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some peope say that money is a happiness of life.How can money make people happy.
Do not have to financial problem. For exmple do not worry for food house rent bills and medical expenses. Money is most comfortable life style. They can buy a better house expincess cars boats and etc and best life future away.They can tarvel for all countries and enjoy for food restaurants in holidays.They can supprot for parent,child and other family member. Having enough money can reduse financil problem and worries. Rich people can donate money and help poor or needy people, which can give them satisfaction. Spending quality time with loved ones can bring happiness.
Being physically and mentally healthy allows people to enjoy life. Having supportive relationships gives people emotional comfort.Achieving goals at work or in education can make people proud.Sports, reading, music, gaming, gardening, etc. can provide enjoyment.
Helping people in need can give a person a sense of purpose.A simple and stress-free life can sometimes be more valuable than wealth.People spend a time with family in life can make people happy. They help with friends on the time they make sure will the happines, Good wife can make happines,Bad wife can saparate with all friends and relative and parants.Online games can make happines in life. They connet for any people whose name i don't know.People play games provide new friends.And they was instere
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing how money can bring happiness through financial security, comfort, and helping others, as well as exploring alternative sources of happiness such as health, relationships, and hobbies. However, the ideas are presented in a fragmented manner with very little development or explanation, resembling a list of points rather than fully extended arguments. Furthermore, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 231 words, which directly impacts the completeness of the task and results in a penalty under Task Achievement. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand on each idea with relevant examples and ensure the length requirement is fully met.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression. Instead of being organised into distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs with clear topic sentences, the text consists of a dense block of fragmented sentences. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, leading to a disconnected reading experience. For instance, the transition between financial benefits of money and other sources of happiness is abrupt. Referencing is also faulty at times, making it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. To improve, the writer should group related ideas into coherent paragraphs and use a wider variety of appropriate transition words to guide the reader.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'happy', 'money', 'life', and 'people'. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'peope', 'expincess', 'tarvel', 'supprot', 'reduse', 'financil', 'saparate', 'connet', and 'instere'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to the prompt, such as 'financial problem' and 'satisfaction', the persistent lexical limitations and spelling inaccuracies occasionally impede communication. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, incorporate more precise academic or general vocabulary, and improve basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mostly of simple and often incomplete sentence structures, such as fragment sentences like 'How can money make people happy.' and 'Do not have to financial problem.' Errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions are very frequent throughout the response. Examples include 'do not worry for food', 'They can tarvel for all countries', and 'People spend a time with family in life can make people happy.' These errors frequently strain the reader's understanding and obscure the intended meaning. To improve, the writer must practise forming complete, grammatically correct sentences and master basic word order and structural rules.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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