Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people believe that having a significant amount of money in life is the main way of happiness. While a lot of money plays a crucial role in people's life, other factors such as good health and personal fulfilment can also make people happy.
To begin with, one major advantage of having a substantial amount of money can be financial security it offers. When individuals have a lot of money, they can fulfil their daily needs including paying bills, rent, and buying food. For example, people with sufficient money are more likely to access quality health and education, which can improve their overall well-being. Another benefit is that it offers greater freedom and opportunities. Wealthy individuals can tend to pursue their hobbies, travel, and enjoy experiences without constantly worrying about expenses. These oppotunities can make life more enjoyable and fulfil.
However, money is not the only way of happiness. People with good health may live happily with their families. This is mainly because they are mentally and physically strong to face any challenge in their lives. Thus, people who are away from any disease and depression can lead a happy lifestyle. Furthermore, achieving success, fulfilling dreams, and helping others can also give a sense of satisfaction and happiness to people.
In conclusion, although a considerable amount of wealth plays a vital role in someone's happiness, other factors are also equally important.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the task by discussing how money brings happiness and exploring other contributing factors such as health and personal fulfillment. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as accessing quality health and education and pursuing hobbies. However, the essay falls short of the word count requirement, containing only 231 words against the minimum of 250. This negative impact on development means the task is only partially addressed in terms of length, resulting in a lower band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression. The response is divided into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'To begin with', 'Another benefit is', and 'However'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the discussion of money from alternative sources of happiness. Referencing is generally clear, though the progression could be slightly more refined in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating less common lexical items such as 'substantial amount', 'financial security', and 'personal fulfilment'. There are minor slips and spelling/word-choice errors that do not impede communication, notably 'oppotunities' instead of opportunities and 'fulfil' instead of fulfilling in the phrase 'more enjoyable and fulfil'. Despite these minor flaws, the lexical resource is generally sufficient and communicates meaning effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional-like structures successfully (e.g., 'When individuals have a lot of money, they can fulfil their daily needs...'). There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'Wealthy individuals can tend to pursue', but these errors do not impede communication. Control of basic punctuation is good, and sentence structures show adequate variety for the task.
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