Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There some people of the opinion that it is important to have lot of money in order to lead happy life. it is true to certain extent as all the materailistic things can be bought by using money, which makes life convenient and enjoyable. However, there are other factors, which are equally important such as family ,mental peace and good health.

To commence with, if individuals have abundance of money they could buy all the tools to be happy such as a lavish house, luxurious cars and branded clothes. Consequently, they will be able to lead a better lifestyle and can fulfil all the desires they have and it creates sense of happiness in them. Furthermore, they can help their family members whenever they are in difficult situation and secure their future by acquiring lot of wealth. For example, most of the rich people accumulate wealth for their next generation by investing it.

In contrast, there are some others factors which contribute to the happiness such as good wealth because even after having lot of money it can be difficult to enjoy if the person is not physically fit. Moreover, it is also necessary that wealthy people have a family to accompany them as loneliness may also affect peoples' well-being even when they have money. For instance, a famous singer died due to loneliness because his family left him even after he had lots of money.

To conclude, Money plays vital role in creating happiness but, one should never overlook the importance of loved-ones and healthy body. It is important to strike a balance between them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both how money can bring happiness through material comfort and security, and identifying alternative sources of happiness such as family, mental peace, and good health. The position is clear throughout the essay. Ideas are generally relevant, but some are slightly under-developed or touch upon generalisations without deep extension, which is characteristic of this level. For instance, while you mention that rich people accumulate wealth for their next generation, this point could have been extended further to fully meet the higher standards. Furthermore, the first body paragraph focuses primarily on material acquisition, and some ideas are less fully explored than others, yet you still manage to cover both aspects of the prompt satisfactorily with examples like the famous singer in the second body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical flow from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as financial happiness versus non-monetary factors. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty in places. For instance, transition phrases like 'To commence with' and 'In contrast' are used, but referencing devices and cohesive ties occasionally lack seamless integration. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though occasional minor slip-ups in logical links prevent the essay from achieving a higher rating. Overall, the structural layout is easy to follow and meets the core requirements for logical organisation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is used for the task, allowing you to successfully convey your arguments regarding wealth and well-being. You attempt less common vocabulary items, such as 'materailistic', 'abundance', and 'well-being', though there are some spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'materailistic' (materialistic) and 'good wealth' instead of good health in the third paragraph. These minor lexical inaccuracies and spelling slips do not impede communication, allowing the reader to understand your points without difficulty. To reach a higher band, you would need to demonstrate a wider, more flexible range of precise lexical choices and collocation control with fewer spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the essay, such as conditional and relative clauses. However, there are some noticeable errors in grammar, articles, and punctuation that recur. For example, missing articles ('There some people', 'lead happy life'), subject-verb agreement issues, and minor punctuation slips are present. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Complex sentence attempts occasionally contain minor flaws in structure or preposition usage. Increasing control over article usage and sentence punctuation will help elevate your grammatical accuracy in future writing tasks.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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