Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Everybody on this planet has a different definition for happiness. For some proportion of people, happiness revolves around money which suggests rich people are happiest people on this planet while for other proportion of people being happy is a stage of wholeness from within. This stage of wholeness is influenced by numerous factors such as having a solid relationships, pursuing dream job, living in a dream country, having childrens, being surrounded by well-wishers. Therefore, for every other person a meaning of being in ecstatic state is unique.

The underlying idea behind any sort of happiness is desire to have a particular unfulfilling thing. Accordingly, when person achieved the urged thing,they experience a joy such as getting a Permanent Residency in dream country was a urge once and its achievement relieves a candidate. Similarly, for family oriented people a most valuable time is being in home with loved-ones. Sometimes, a vaccum prevails in life of working professionals who resides away from their home and whenever get together happens their souls lighten-up. Moving ahead, some part of the society loves to travel regardless of overseas or within their own country. In simple words, exploring and stepping-out of the home gives a sense of freedom. So, for such people freedom is happiness especially for women and unprivileged class of the society.

On the other hand, there is also an existence of health conscious people for whom staying healthy, eating nutritious food, going to fitness classes, burning the calories, following a exercise regime gives a contentment. Whereas for some individuals improving psychologically by errecting the personality errors from feedbacks or personal experiences is a bliss. Furthermore, to cut out the noises whether from the outer world or from own mind is a peace. Taking out a time for oneself for by going for solo coffee date and waking up in early hours to connect with the supreme power and eliminating every single from mind is a delightful situation for some of the people.

Overall, happiness is not measured by how many wealth a person is possessing? It is an highly variable concept from one person to another. But at the end of the day, every person should be able to find happiness in their own world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the task by discussing how money might bring happiness and exploring alternative sources of fulfillment, such as relationships, travel, fitness, and inner peace. However, the development of these ideas is uneven. While the first question about money is introduced in the opening paragraph, the body paragraphs quickly pivot entirely to non-monetary aspects of happiness, leaving the financial angle somewhat under-developed. Ideas such as pursuing a dream job or living in a dream country are mentioned in passing rather than fully extended with robust examples or explanations. Consequently, the position on how money specifically operates as a primary driver of happiness remains partially explored, sitting comfortably within the mid-range descriptors where some parts are covered more fully than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to group related ideas into distinct paragraphs. Introduction and conclusion strategies are present, framing the discussion about personal definitions of happiness. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases like 'Moving ahead' and 'On the other hand' are utilized, but referencing and logical flow occasionally falter, such as the abrupt transitions between disparate concepts in the third paragraph. Paragraphing is employed, but internal organizational progression within paragraphs lacks seamless connectivity. Pronoun referencing is occasionally unclear, requiring the reader to work slightly harder to follow the intended logical progression between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's broad ideas about happiness and lifestyle factors. The student attempts less common lexical items, such as 'ecstatic state', 'wholeness from within', 'vaccum prevails', and 'psychologically by errecting the personality errors', but these attempts are often marred by slight inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form. For instance, 'errecting the personality errors' is awkward and imprecise. There are also noticeable spelling and word form errors, such as 'childrens' instead of children, and 'how many wealth' instead of how much wealth. Nonetheless, the vocabulary remains sufficient to convey meaning without severely impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures throughout the essay, demonstrating a willingness to construct varied clauses. However, control over these structures is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'rich people are happiest people', 'when person achieved the urged thing', and 'is an highly variable concept'. Additionally, awkward phrasing in complex structures creates minor communication hurdles. Punctuation and minor grammatical slips, such as missing plural markers or incorrect verb tense shifts within a sentence, persist across the text, preventing the grammar from reaching a higher level of precision and consistency.

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