Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The crucial role of an enormous amount of money in leading a prosperous life is often highlighted. Although, signifiance of money cannot be denied there are a lot of factors that contribute to a joyous life.

A person spends their life chasing money. Spending years to develop skills that will facilitate the person earn money to rigirous work in order to earn it.

A handsome amount of money is vital in todays world of materialism. From daily chores to luxuries, money is essential in all aspects of life. For example: groceries, child's education and utility bills, they all require cash. Moreover, luxuries and hobbies can also be enjoyed by those who possess a significant amount of capital. It is often seen that people who who are rich, lead a prosperous and cheerful life

However, money is not the only gateway to a blissful life. Many factors contribute to a contend life. For instance, health is a bounty that one cannot ignore. Health is only appreciated when a person is ill. For example, countless rich people who are chronically sick cannot enjoy their life because of their health conditions. Mental peace is also something that cannot be bought. Countless people around the world commit suicide even though they are blessed with money.

To conclude, althought money plays a crucial role in leading a blissful life given its role in our materialistic society. There are other factors that consitute to a cheerful life too, such as physical and mental wellbeing, without which a person struggles.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing how money might make people happy and exploring other sources of happiness, such as health and mental peace. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, certain ideas remain somewhat under-developed. For example, while the economic importance of groceries, education, and utility bills is mentioned, the explanation of how wealth enables happiness is brief. Similarly, the discussion on health touches on an important point with the example of chronically sick wealthy people, but this supporting idea could have been expanded further to fully explore the nuances of non-material happiness. Despite these limitations in development, the overall task requirements are adequately met, with relevant, on-topic ideas presented from start to finish.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as the role of money versus alternative sources of happiness like health and mental peace. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Some transitions feel abrupt, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence fragment 'From daily chores to luxuries, money is essential in all aspects of life. For example: groceries, child's education and utility bills, they all require cash.' Additionally, the logical progression between sentences occasionally stumbles, which prevents the essay from achieving a more fluid and seamless organisational structure throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less-common lexical items such as 'materialism', 'bounty', and 'blissful'. However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word forms. For instance, 'signifiance' is misspelled, 'contend life' is used instead of 'content life', and phrases like 'facilitate the person earn money to rigirous work' contain awkward collocations and incorrect verb forms. Despite these errors and occasional awkwardness, the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the writer's core message without severely impeding the reader's overall understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to vary grammatical structures. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation that surface throughout the text. Instances of faulty sentence construction include sentence fragments, such as starting a sentence with 'Although, signifiance of money cannot be denied there are a lot of factors', and incomplete syntax like 'people who who are rich'. Punctuation errors, such as placing a period before 'For example:' and comma splices in the conclusion, are also noticeable. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede communication entirely, allowing the reader to follow the intended arguments.

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