Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that having substantial amount of money is a key to achieving happiness in life.Although, financial security can certainly contribute to people's well being,I believe that other factors such as having good relationships, health and sense of purpose are equally important.This essay will discuss both prespectives stating money alone cannot bring happiness to life, other aspects are also important.

There are several reasons why money can make people happier. The primary and foremost is having sufficient income provide financial security.For instance,it allows them to buy their basic necessities such as nutrious food, comfortable accomodation and healthcare.Moreover, they can pay their monthly bills or debts on time without stressing about it.In addition, wealthy individuals hve greater opportunities to enjoy leisure activities, travel and pursue their interests.For example, someone with a stable income may be able to enjoy regular holidays with their family, which can create enjoyable and memorable experiences.

On the other hand, there are many other factors that can have significant impact on happiness.One of the most important is having strong realationships with family and friends. Spending quality time with the loved ones can provide emotional support, companionship and sense of belonging, none of which can be purchsed with money.Moreover, having good physical health is also essential because it enables people to enjoy their daily lives and participate in activities they value.For example, people who maintain good health can exercise regularly.

In conclusion, although money can improve living conditions and provide financial security, I believe that it is not only main source of happiness.Meaningful relationships, good health and sense of purpose equally plays an important role.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both how money might make people happy and exploring other factors like relationships and health, establishing a clear position throughout. The ideas are generally relevant, but some are more fully developed than others. For instance, the paragraph on why money makes people happy provides specific examples such as buying necessities and enjoying holidays, meeting the expectations of a solid mid-range level. However, some arguments lack deeper extension, reflecting a standard typical of this band where certain points remain slightly under-developed. To reach a higher level, you would need to extend your supporting ideas further with more elaborate reasoning and consistently detailed examples across all body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear sense of progression from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating the distinct viewpoints into logical blocks. Cohesion is present, but it is sometimes mechanical or features minor lapses in referencing, such as occasional issues with spacing and punctuation around transition markers like 'However' and 'Moreover'. To progress further, ensure that cohesive devices are used more flexibly and fluidly rather than relying on standard formulaic connectors at the start of every sentence, thereby creating a smoother, more natural flow between ideas throughout the entire essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'financial security', 'nutritious food', and 'companionship'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors that do not impede communication, such as 'substantial amount' (missing an article), 'accomodation' (spelling), 'realationships' (spelling), and 'hve' (typing slip). Collocations are generally functional but occasionally awkward, as seen in 'sense of purpose equally plays an important role'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for greater precision in word choice, eliminate spelling mistakes entirely, and demonstrate a more natural control of less common vocabulary and idiomatic phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, successfully using subordinate clauses and modal verbs. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include missing commas after introductory elements, spacing issues like 'well being,I', subject-verb agreement slips such as 'income provide', and missing articles in phrases like 'is a key' or 'with the loved ones'. To reach the next level, you need to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over punctuation, articles, and agreement patterns across the entire piece of writing.

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