Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
I am writing a latter some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money and other thing is how might having of money make happy people.
firstly, In now days money is important in our life because i mostly need money go outside Anywhere If I have money we can buy everything. Nowdays all sectors are very costly like education sector are so costly. if I have more money, I can send my children to good collage ya school for further study but I have No more Money I can not send my children to go study in good collage ya school that why money is important to happy life. And if i have a more Money I can do everything Like Buy a new home, I can send to children for outdoor activity, and go other country to further study, Some branded buying cloths to me and my family. That why main way to be happy in life to have more money.
Second thig is if I have more money in life, people will value in your community. And you can also help other people in your community, such as other families and their children , with their education and medical exoenses.
Other thing in life can make happy are spending time with your family, playing cricket with your friends. ,travelling to new places,and helping other people. But I thing I will be happy if i have more money otherwise no.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the main components of the prompt by discussing how money can bring happiness through material acquisition and community support, while also identifying other sources of happiness like spending time with family and travelling. However, it falls short of the minimum word count requirement, sitting at 233 words, and 18 words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted. Ideas are presented but remain limited and under-developed, lacking detailed elaboration or convincing personal examples. The writer attempts to take a position, but the overall development is constrained by repetitive points about buying things and sending children to good schools. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully extend their arguments with specific examples and meet the required word count.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text demonstrates some basic organization with discernible paragraphs attempting to separate different ideas, such as financial benefits versus non-financial sources of happiness. However, there is no clear overall progression of argument throughout the essay. Cohesive devices are used minimally and repetitively, relying heavily on simple connectors like 'firstly', 'and', and 'other thing'. Paragraphing is attempted, but ideas within paragraphs jump abruptly without smooth transitions, making the overall logical flow quite mechanical. To improve, the writer must employ a wider range of cohesive ties and ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one to guide the reader clearly through the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'community' and 'activities', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as writing 'medical exoenses' and 'branded buying cloths'. There are also several recurring spelling issues and incorrect word forms like 'latter' instead of letter or essay, and informal phrasing like 'ya school'. These lexical limitations and errors cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, use more precise academic terminology, and ensure correct word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions. When the writer attempts complex structures, such as conditional clauses starting with 'if', they are frequently faulty, characterized by issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Frequent errors occur in basic grammar, including article usage, missing prepositions within grammatical patterns, and fragment sentences like 'That why main way to be happy in life to have more money.' These errors are frequent and can cause difficulty and confusion for the reader. To progress, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence forms while maintaining control over basic grammar and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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